9 Feb - Koh Chang Update

9 Feb - A nice beach for anyone looking to get away from the crowds. No need to trek too far to find a bit of privacy if you find Whitesands, Klong Prao or Kai Bae too touristy. Instead, head down to Bailan Resort where you'll find the beach below. Brand new, AC Bungalows on the beach for around 1300 baht/night and fan bungalows for around 700-800baht. Part of the beach is also rented by 'Mangrove', which has well designed but simple bungalows aimed at flashpackers rather than their scruffier backpacker brethren.

In a new section entitled 'Biggest disappointment of the week', I'll be covering the sad tale of a guy who left Koh Chang glum faced after visiting the 'By Hand Club', in Klong Prao, opposite the gas station, only to find that not only was it staffed by a couple of middle-aged women but that it merely sold handicrafts and nothing more exciting than that was available. Next week, it's the turn of www.kohchangtv.com, but if you're expecting a site for local cross dressers you'll be wasting your time.

Psst . . . wanna invest in a once in a lifetime opportunity. See www.royalsiamtrust.com, land bankers on the mainland, southeast of Trat. You too can invest in over 100 acres of prime grade mainland beachfront in a location that currently receives about 150 visitors a year all of whom have got lost trying to find the Koh Chang ferry piers or have stopped to rest on their way to the casino on the Cambodian border. Anyway, according to a report in the Singapore Times, the equivalent of 4 million baht/rai will buy you a very small slice in the prospector's pie then all you have to do is wait for someone with even more money to burn to come and take it off your hands As a guide, you can pick up beachfront around here for a couple of million/rai or less easily. Without wanting to use the word 'dodgy', it does seem a bit 'd-d-y' as far as worthwhile investments go.

I've had a few banana shakes in the past week, so, for anyone's who's a bit of a connoisseur of all things fruity, the results of my unscientific, subjective taste test follow: 1) Paradise Resort, Koh Wai - 50 baht Actually had three there in the past week when I've been out on the boat, can't fault the shakes and the restaurant is a great place for people watching 2) The cheap Thai restaurant opposite Alina Resort, Whitesands whose name I can't remember at the moment - 30 baht, if they can do a great shake for 30 baht why cant more places? 3) Salakphet Seafood, Salakphet - 40 baht, probably joint second but edged out on the extra 10 baht price. 4) Buddha View, Bangbao - 60 baht, tasted fine but not blended enough, still a bit crunchy.

The new telephone office will open soon on Pearl Beach just behind the Post Office. No longer will you have to trek into Trat to apply for a phone line and be told to wait 3 months, or be told that "the internet is full" when you apply for your ADSL connection. Those services and other reasons to queue, will be available here by the end of the month.

Dhevatara Cove, Samui . . . take a look . . . how nice are those pool villas? On Samui one will set you back a cool million - US dollars not baht. But what if you could buy an almost identical style of villa, complete with a private pool, on a small private beach on Koh Chang for well under half the cost of one on Samui . . . how nice would that be to own? Fear not house-hunters . . .More info on the way just as soon as I get round to adding it.

Bamboo Bungalows on Whitesands do Italian food on the beach and it's pretty good. I usually avoid eating western food on Koh Chang unless someone else is paying for the meal . . .and this occasion was no exception, but I'll be back again and maybe even pay myself next time. The pizza tasted like pizza and the pasta tasted like pasta - that might not sound like much of an achievement, but if you've visited Thailand before you'll know that it is. It's not in the same league as Invito, the best of the Italian restaurants on KC, but it'll do me.

The March edition of Thailand Property Guide will include a 3-page feature on the paradise island of Koh Chang . . . including colour photos no less. I know this because I've just finished writing it.

A couple of serious investors, each with with 50 - 80 million baht on hand, have contacted me recently and they're both looking for a profitable small resort on Koh Chang to buy. The key words here are 'buy' i.e. not lease for a few years and 'profitable' i.e. really makes money and offers a good rate of return on the selling price, two criteria which rule out quite a few places I can think of. But if you're a resort owner or know anyone who has one and is interested in selling let me know. (And if you want to buy a 38 Rai, 150+ room, well-known, west coast resort for 560 million baht, let me know too.)

Two modern houses for long term rent in Kai Bae. One at 25,000 baht/month ( pictured left) and the other at 30,000 baht. Both quiet locations, both on 1 Rai or more of land (1600sqm+), both built during the past 18 months to a good standard - basically, the best quality house rentals you'll find at the moment on the island. Photos and info will be online next week, in the meantime if you're interested email me.

It's always fun to receive emails from some Eastern Europeans as they're often pretty excited when you actually reply, and you can't help but invoke images of Borat . . .

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Subj: Hello from Latvia!!!!!!!

Hello Ian!!!!!!!
Thank You very much for contakt with ##### diving center, Everything is ok ,I find my friends.....
Best of the Best regards from the Latvia
Have a nice times

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29 Jn - Koh Chang Update

29 Jan - Tip for travellers, if you're arranging to meet at the treehouse - get the right one. I picked up a couple by the road in the south east of the island who had gone the wrong way, realised their mistake and were trying to get round to the west coast to the Lonely beach branch.

In response to numerous, more than one but less than three, emails asking about the absence of a discussion board on this site. I had thought about it but I really can't be arsed at the moment. Therefore, you're best off posting on the TripAdvisor Koh Chang forum if you want to hear from people who've visited KC before and also want the opinions of the very helpful Local Expert for Koh Chang who goes out of his way to help those in their time of need. It's a kind of a Mother Theresa position, providing some rays of hope and/or comfort for those who've booked at resorts they really shouldn't have bothered with or weaning unsuspecting Americans off their painful addiction to Let's Go guides. the main difference is that it can be done from home rather than the slums of Calcutta.

Question of the week came from one of our guests who'd just arrived here and obviously wasn't involved much in planning the holiday "Which way's Koh Chang?" she asked There's only one answer for this type of question, but as I didn't feel I knew her well enough to enquire as to what type of drugs she was on, my reply was limited to "Err, over there." and pointing north, adding "You'll find a map on the table." hoping she'd manage to find the table by herself.

In case you missed it, the Thai Justice Ministry is currently overhauling it's laws to make them fairer fair to women and improve Thailand standing as a modern, almost first world, country. The marital rape law has long been a bone of contention as it allowed husbands to rape their wives with impunity. The Ministry had a tough choice, abolish the law to make this illegal and so be equal to both sexes or, and here's the good bit, make it legal for wives to rape their husbands and so ensure equality of the sexes. Guess which option they went for?

Last week we heard from Mr Kampon Jaroenkajornkul, head of Trat tourism business association, who came out with the statement ''After the bombings <>, around 10% of visitors to Koh Chang decided to leave the island for fear of their safety.'' - a sentence which is must be some kind of anagram formed from a far more sensible statement. This week another local power broker with a desire to be seen as a safari-suited mover and shaker has come up with a solution to Koh Chang's water woes according the the Thai News Agency.

'The Deputy Chief of Koh Chang has proposed to use Reverse Osmosis, a system used to distil sea water to fresh water, to control the water shortage on the island.

Mr. Sakprasert Charoenprasit, revealed that Koh Chang will face water shortages from January-May every year. Five-star hotels and resorts will not encounter water shortages as they have their own underground water pumps. However, small hotels and resorts have to buy fresh water. As for the long-term plan to prevent water shortage, reservoirs will be constructed on the island and RO system is expected to be installed.'

Whether he prefaced his announcement with "Baldrick, I have a cunning plan . . ." isn't mentioned. However, imagine there was an island in Thailand, far further offshore than Koh Chang, and which had well over 2.5 million visitors per year, dozens of world class hotels and a serious water problem, one so severe that even the best 5 star hotels had to ration water at times. So, wouldn't Samui have had a huge reverse osmosis plant by now if it was a viable option? It hasn't, although some resorts do have their own small scale RO plants. I wonder if Mr Sakprasert will address the problem of where the huge plant for Koh Chang will discharge tens of thousands of litres of super concentrated saline waste water every day. Also nice to see that his position as Deputy Chief of Koh Chang gives him the authority to decide to build reservoirs in water catchment areas, all of which lie in the National Park.

On the subject of bright ideas that faded fast under the glaring light of 'real life', let's not forget that by 2007 motorists were to be banned from bringing their cars onto Koh Chang and tourists were to be ferried from beach to beach by boat whilst the main form of transport on the island was going to be the humble bicycle and Whitesands was to be transformed into an overdeveloped sea of drab, uninspiring shop units to become the architectural equivalent of Valium. OK, so the last aim came true, but previous examples of totally un-thought out thoughts that pop-up in the minds of politicians when a reporter is anywhere in the vicinity can be found in the News Archives.

How do you know you've made it in Thailand? When you can drive your Ferrari to Koh Chang and if there isn't enough room in the boot for your suitcases you can get one of your staff to bring them in your Hummer, as an expat guest staying at the Amari did last week.

Coming soon, eco-friendly sea transport, ideal for anyone feeling guilty about blowing their personal carbon allowance for the year on the flight to Thailand. (No, it isn't a yacht.)

22 Jan - Koh Chang Update

22 Jan - It's not a sea view but as views go it's a pretty nice one to wake up to. 13 plots of land for 90 year lease to foreign buyers at the north-west of Koh Chang. Prices from 1.45 million baht for 852sqm. 10 minutes drive to Whitesands, 2 minutes to the local village and buyers are allowed access to the private beach & facilities at Siam Royal View. More info here.

Ever wondered what the first symptoms of heartworm in a dog look like? Neither had I until blood started pouring out of our dog's nostrils the other day. Fortunately we were in Rayong at the time and know the vet there very well. So after three injections, a course of pills and a day spent holding an ice pack on the dog's snout 'Santa' made a quick recovery.

It's around this time of year that our thoughts turn to the annual commemorations of the Battle of Koh Chang, a France vs. Thailand naval encounter in January 1941. Our thoughts also turn to thinking that it'd be helpful if certain websites mentioned the annual celebrations in advance in the future. So, had you been at the naval memorial on the mainland a couple of days ago you would have seen naval top brass staring out to sea in obligatory sombre mood. If this sounds like a reason to visit Koh Chang in mid-January 2008, best pencil it in to your diary now.

Thai TV station iTV ran a series of news features on Koh Chang. They had their helicopter buzzing around the skies over Koh Chang 3 weeks ago and the results of their trip were aired last week. I only saw one as I tend to have better things to do that watch any Thai TV channel. This was about the changes in Bangbao and how the poor fishing folk had moved out to be replaced by restaurateurs and dive companies. Not exactly ground breaking investigative journalism but some nice aerial pictures.

Dominic from 'Six Billion Others' was on Koh Chang interviewing Thais for this art project which will result in a video installation in a Paris gallery. The project, headed by French artiste Yann Arthus-Bertrand is sponsored by Apple & Air France amongst others and consists of a team of six people travelling the world conducting identical interviews with people about their lives, hopes and dreams. The end results should see the light of day in 2008. For now see www.goodplanet.org for more info. Is it only the French who can get away with this type of thing, call it art and find corporate sponsors to boot?

Mr Kampon Jaroenkajornkul, head of Trat tourism business association, spoke to the Bangkok Post regarding tourism post NYE bombs ''After the bombings, around 10% of visitors to Koh Chang decided to leave the island for fear of their safety.'' So where did these tourists who felt they were holidaying in an unsafe environment whilst on one of the sleepiest islands in Thailand go to? They couldn't go home as flights were full. They couldn't go to Bangkok obviously. Other tourist hot spots would be far higher up a list of potential terrorist targets than Koh Chang, so Samui, Pattaya, Chiang Mai, Phuket etc were out. My guess is either they all went next door to the peace loving nation of Cambodia or Mr Kampon may be talking nonsense. Ruling out the first option on the grounds that I only included it so that there'd be a choice of options, you're left with the second. Given that a lot of people had only booked into Koh Chang's hotels until the 2 or 3 of January there was bound to be a definite drop off in hotel occupancy for the following week, which has picked up again now. Why the quiet second week of January? Possibly because a lot of money grabbing resorts charge 'Peak Season' prices until mid-January so unless you really have to visit in the first two weeks of the year anyone with a brain will delay their holiday until the second half of the month and prices have come down. (The full news story including Mr Kampon's 15 minutes of fame is here).

Google hate me. They stopped me showing ads on this site for a reason they won't specify so there goes a couple of thousand baht in monthly ad revenue. So if you've got something crap you want to advertise let me know and I may be desperate enough to take you up on the offer. Otherwise, I've still got two kidneys and so one is up for grabs to the highest bidder.

Need a Buddhist prayer for a special occasion? Perhaps one to keep you safe whilst riding your motorbike? Or do you simply to ward off ghosts but don't what to say? Mam donated a couple of thousand prayer books to Klong Prao temple as they didn't have any. So it's bonus points for us in the eyes of the Lord Buddha and my thoughts of reincarnation as a cockroach are now firmly in the past.

Try Tapas Bar on Whitesands for a pre- dinner drink on the beach. Nice, friendly little bar on the sand with no thumping music.

15 Jan - Koh Chang Update

14 Jan - A room with a vista fit for Thai nobility at the aptly named 'Siam Royal View'.

Thrillseekers can now parasail on Koh Chang courtesy of Rung Rueng Parasail, Kai Bae. Get dragged skywards by speedboat for 600 baht. Head to Coral Resort, Kai Bae or contact any tour agency or resort in this part of the island for info.

Down in Bangbao there have been sightings of a foreign visitor engaging in unnatural activities on a regular basis. Apparently he's taken it on himself to pick up garbage out of the sea. Restaurateurs have been told repeatedly not to instruct their staff to throw garbage into the sea early in the morning before any tourists are around, but this still occurs. Whether this one person's actions will leave any long lasting impression of the wealthy individuals responsible for the majority of garbage that gets dumped directly into the sea remains to be seen. Probably not if the hotels who continue to burn their day's garbage on waste land not too far from Klong Plu waterfall are anything to go by. There's nothing like the smell of smouldering plastic at sunset to remind you that you're in Thailand.

Big property update. Info on the compact and bijou Baan Talay Thai development on the quiet east coast added for anyone looking for a peaceful life by the sea. Photos and details here. Other good stuff on the way when I have time including plots of land ideal for housing. 13 nicely sized plots from 852sqm - 2,432sqm, with Chanote title, access road, electricity and water on site, from 1.45 million - 3.8 million baht. Lovely, quiet back to nature location in a valley, jungle clad mountains around you, 1km to the local village, and only 10-15 minutes drive to Whitesands Beach. Also more condo units on sale soon from 3.8 million baht for an 82sqm 1 bedroom place.

Live Music update - The Irish Pub on Whitesands are currently advertising for Folk Singers. Keep an eye out for the Thai equivalent of an old bearded guy in a fisherman's smock, with his finger in his ear singing an acappella tale of how rough life was for those involved in building the Manchester ship canal in days gone by.

According to guests who stayed at Tropicana Resort over Xmas & New Year the management managed to seriously screw up a lot of bookings with at least 30 people being double booked and getting sent off to stay at another less desirable and far less popular hotel for all or part of their stay. Klong Prao Resort was another place that came in for a fair bit of criticism for unfriendly staff and crap management by guests who stayed over New Year and shared their thoughts with me.

If you've ever wondered why Thais aren't great explorers, this sign in Lonely Beach may provide the answer. South-west is the direction you head to for Italy, Nepal and Cambodia apparently. A few more photos of Lonely Beach added so you can see how the young people of today live when they are on holiday. (I don't know why they choose to live in a shack either when there's a perfectly good 3-star just along the beach. It must be a phase they're going through.) Lonely Beach photos

Another wedding on Klong Prao beach last week, the moment I heard the grooms utter his vows "Without you Angie I can't function." (That was his vows in their entirety.), I knew that as soon as the bloke presiding over the ceremony and who pronounced the happy couple man and wife 'by the power vested in me by the General Manager of Klong Prao Resort and the Lord God Almighty' I just knew that Angie and hubby's first song would be Robbie Williams' 'Angels' . . . and so it was.

Sangtawan restaurant has now replaced Cookies as my favourite eatery on Whitesands. Not sure what's happened to Cookies in the past few months, they're getting complacent and it isnt as good as it was. However, Sangtawan, adjacent to Cookies, on the beach with the white lanterns in the tree, has been excellent the past couple of times we've been. The cocktails are also worth a mention as they're cheap and taste like cocktails should rather than over sweet fruit punch.

7 Jan - Koh Chang Update

7 Jan - Think you'll be bored on holiday? Think again, Koh Chang possesses watersports facilities to compete with those anywhere in Thailand. Inflatables now come in three colours and are available to rent from all good beach vendors. Expect a yellow airbed to be added in time for the 2007-08 season.

The Ultimate Battle of the Ultimate Guides. Koh Chang now has three different 'Ultimate' guides to the island. Perhaps one should rebrand itself as the 'ultimatest' guide? See the giants battle it out for e-supremacy, bragging rights and advertisers cash at www.kohchang-thailand.info & www.whitesandsthailand.com whilst www.koh-chang.com is only in it's ultimate form in print.

Then there's this site, 'The ultimate penultimate guide to Koh Chang' - written by someone with time on his hands and nothing better to do for people like you, those with time on their hands to read it and nothing better to do.

The Ultimate Day Out - Pattaya's Siam Sailing Co. have been cruising around on their 'Supercat' for the past week. You know it's a supercat because it has 'Supercat' written on the side in metre high letters. It ain't subtle, but there again neither are a pair of panda fur speedos. This waterborne penis extension can be yours for a mere 45,000 baht/day - max. 8 guests, including accommodation, food, drinks and a variety of nibbles. Bling optional.

The Ultimate Web solution . . .need a new back end? Want to stand out on the online crowd? Or simply need to know how to pronounce 'MySQL' correctly? If this is all geek speak to you, contact Alexis at www.kcdarsana.com, for your web related requirements or call in to their corporate HQ on the road to Klong Plu waterfall.

The Ultimate Act of Caring . . . Thai TV showed photos of government ministers visiting those injured in the NYE bomb blasts, those lucky folks all received polythene wrapped gift baskets (Potato chips, energy drinks, shampoo, tins of condensed milk and more!) from the ministers, whilst families of those who died were given a whopping 10,000 baht. This is more than enough to compensate the family for the earnings the deceased would have accumulated during their working life. It is based on a complex calculation which factors in the deceased emigrating to North Korea on 1 January 2007 to take up a job in an asbestos mine at Work Camp 4, on the outskirts of the Pyongyang nuclear test site, and then taking an evening job as a nerve agent test guinea pig at 17 Won per hour.

The Ultimate Job on Koh Chang (not really but it pays for your beer) . . . An English teacher, preferably a native English speaker with some experience, is required for a private student working for a property developer on Koh Chang. 2 hours x 2-3 classes per week in the evenings. Hourly rate to be confirmed. If you're interested email Carsten at Anchana Language School, Whitesands < kco@medos.net >

The Ultimate Cover Up . . . According to hotel staff, a young child on holiday with his parents from Europe, drowned in the pool of a 4-star resort last week. Hotel staff were instructed by the GM not to tell anyone, except people they meet in the market and like to gossip with.

The Ultimate Minibus Ride . . . Sonja & partner are looking for anyone wanting to share a private transfer from Koh Chang - Siem Reap on 25 February. If you're going that way and want to share the expense let me know.

The Ultimate Afternoon Stroll . . .there's a nice little walk across Koh Wai which is worth a look if you're visiting the island on a boat trip, have more than 30 minutes to spare and want to get away from the snorkelling masses. A few photos and more info here.

The Ultimate New Trend . . .Herbal Saunas. The original Herbal Sauna is in Bailan and, as with all successful small businesses, it has been copied. Now there are at half a dozen Herbal Saunas dotted along the west coast. The original is a unique hand made, purpose built adobe style sauna. Nearby, on Lonely Beach, this copycat uses a converted septic tank or possibly a reconditioned grain silo, as a sauna.

The Ultimate Confidence Boost . . .The khaki clad Defence Minister of the ruling military junta in Thailand was reported on the BBC News website as saying that it was "highly likely" the NYE bomb attacks in Bangkok were carried out by "men in uniform" by which he didn't mean subversive supermarket shelf-stackers and grudge bearing valet parking staff. Sleep safely Bangkok.

The Ultimate Method to Beat the Thai Drink Driving Test . . .I had to drive to the ferry pier to pick up some of our guests a few days ago, the police had a checkpoint set up looking for people who still might be over-enjoying extended New Year celebrations. The boys in brown were stopping all the cars and questioning the drivers. In the absence of any breathalyser equipment, a cunning line of questioning was used in order to weed out any drivers who had been imbibing prior to getting behind the wheel:

Police: Hello. Have you been drinking alcohol?
Me: (Making a point to look at the clock in the car.) It's 10.30am, I had a small Beer Chang last night, does that count?
Police: OK, you can go.