15 Jan - Koh Chang Update

14 Jan - A room with a vista fit for Thai nobility at the aptly named 'Siam Royal View'.

Thrillseekers can now parasail on Koh Chang courtesy of Rung Rueng Parasail, Kai Bae. Get dragged skywards by speedboat for 600 baht. Head to Coral Resort, Kai Bae or contact any tour agency or resort in this part of the island for info.

Down in Bangbao there have been sightings of a foreign visitor engaging in unnatural activities on a regular basis. Apparently he's taken it on himself to pick up garbage out of the sea. Restaurateurs have been told repeatedly not to instruct their staff to throw garbage into the sea early in the morning before any tourists are around, but this still occurs. Whether this one person's actions will leave any long lasting impression of the wealthy individuals responsible for the majority of garbage that gets dumped directly into the sea remains to be seen. Probably not if the hotels who continue to burn their day's garbage on waste land not too far from Klong Plu waterfall are anything to go by. There's nothing like the smell of smouldering plastic at sunset to remind you that you're in Thailand.

Big property update. Info on the compact and bijou Baan Talay Thai development on the quiet east coast added for anyone looking for a peaceful life by the sea. Photos and details here. Other good stuff on the way when I have time including plots of land ideal for housing. 13 nicely sized plots from 852sqm - 2,432sqm, with Chanote title, access road, electricity and water on site, from 1.45 million - 3.8 million baht. Lovely, quiet back to nature location in a valley, jungle clad mountains around you, 1km to the local village, and only 10-15 minutes drive to Whitesands Beach. Also more condo units on sale soon from 3.8 million baht for an 82sqm 1 bedroom place.

Live Music update - The Irish Pub on Whitesands are currently advertising for Folk Singers. Keep an eye out for the Thai equivalent of an old bearded guy in a fisherman's smock, with his finger in his ear singing an acappella tale of how rough life was for those involved in building the Manchester ship canal in days gone by.

According to guests who stayed at Tropicana Resort over Xmas & New Year the management managed to seriously screw up a lot of bookings with at least 30 people being double booked and getting sent off to stay at another less desirable and far less popular hotel for all or part of their stay. Klong Prao Resort was another place that came in for a fair bit of criticism for unfriendly staff and crap management by guests who stayed over New Year and shared their thoughts with me.

If you've ever wondered why Thais aren't great explorers, this sign in Lonely Beach may provide the answer. South-west is the direction you head to for Italy, Nepal and Cambodia apparently. A few more photos of Lonely Beach added so you can see how the young people of today live when they are on holiday. (I don't know why they choose to live in a shack either when there's a perfectly good 3-star just along the beach. It must be a phase they're going through.) Lonely Beach photos

Another wedding on Klong Prao beach last week, the moment I heard the grooms utter his vows "Without you Angie I can't function." (That was his vows in their entirety.), I knew that as soon as the bloke presiding over the ceremony and who pronounced the happy couple man and wife 'by the power vested in me by the General Manager of Klong Prao Resort and the Lord God Almighty' I just knew that Angie and hubby's first song would be Robbie Williams' 'Angels' . . . and so it was.

Sangtawan restaurant has now replaced Cookies as my favourite eatery on Whitesands. Not sure what's happened to Cookies in the past few months, they're getting complacent and it isnt as good as it was. However, Sangtawan, adjacent to Cookies, on the beach with the white lanterns in the tree, has been excellent the past couple of times we've been. The cocktails are also worth a mention as they're cheap and taste like cocktails should rather than over sweet fruit punch.

7 Jan - Koh Chang Update

7 Jan - Think you'll be bored on holiday? Think again, Koh Chang possesses watersports facilities to compete with those anywhere in Thailand. Inflatables now come in three colours and are available to rent from all good beach vendors. Expect a yellow airbed to be added in time for the 2007-08 season.

The Ultimate Battle of the Ultimate Guides. Koh Chang now has three different 'Ultimate' guides to the island. Perhaps one should rebrand itself as the 'ultimatest' guide? See the giants battle it out for e-supremacy, bragging rights and advertisers cash at www.kohchang-thailand.info & www.whitesandsthailand.com whilst www.koh-chang.com is only in it's ultimate form in print.

Then there's this site, 'The ultimate penultimate guide to Koh Chang' - written by someone with time on his hands and nothing better to do for people like you, those with time on their hands to read it and nothing better to do.

The Ultimate Day Out - Pattaya's Siam Sailing Co. have been cruising around on their 'Supercat' for the past week. You know it's a supercat because it has 'Supercat' written on the side in metre high letters. It ain't subtle, but there again neither are a pair of panda fur speedos. This waterborne penis extension can be yours for a mere 45,000 baht/day - max. 8 guests, including accommodation, food, drinks and a variety of nibbles. Bling optional.

The Ultimate Web solution . . .need a new back end? Want to stand out on the online crowd? Or simply need to know how to pronounce 'MySQL' correctly? If this is all geek speak to you, contact Alexis at www.kcdarsana.com, for your web related requirements or call in to their corporate HQ on the road to Klong Plu waterfall.

The Ultimate Act of Caring . . . Thai TV showed photos of government ministers visiting those injured in the NYE bomb blasts, those lucky folks all received polythene wrapped gift baskets (Potato chips, energy drinks, shampoo, tins of condensed milk and more!) from the ministers, whilst families of those who died were given a whopping 10,000 baht. This is more than enough to compensate the family for the earnings the deceased would have accumulated during their working life. It is based on a complex calculation which factors in the deceased emigrating to North Korea on 1 January 2007 to take up a job in an asbestos mine at Work Camp 4, on the outskirts of the Pyongyang nuclear test site, and then taking an evening job as a nerve agent test guinea pig at 17 Won per hour.

The Ultimate Job on Koh Chang (not really but it pays for your beer) . . . An English teacher, preferably a native English speaker with some experience, is required for a private student working for a property developer on Koh Chang. 2 hours x 2-3 classes per week in the evenings. Hourly rate to be confirmed. If you're interested email Carsten at Anchana Language School, Whitesands < kco@medos.net >

The Ultimate Cover Up . . . According to hotel staff, a young child on holiday with his parents from Europe, drowned in the pool of a 4-star resort last week. Hotel staff were instructed by the GM not to tell anyone, except people they meet in the market and like to gossip with.

The Ultimate Minibus Ride . . . Sonja & partner are looking for anyone wanting to share a private transfer from Koh Chang - Siem Reap on 25 February. If you're going that way and want to share the expense let me know.

The Ultimate Afternoon Stroll . . .there's a nice little walk across Koh Wai which is worth a look if you're visiting the island on a boat trip, have more than 30 minutes to spare and want to get away from the snorkelling masses. A few photos and more info here.

The Ultimate New Trend . . .Herbal Saunas. The original Herbal Sauna is in Bailan and, as with all successful small businesses, it has been copied. Now there are at half a dozen Herbal Saunas dotted along the west coast. The original is a unique hand made, purpose built adobe style sauna. Nearby, on Lonely Beach, this copycat uses a converted septic tank or possibly a reconditioned grain silo, as a sauna.

The Ultimate Confidence Boost . . .The khaki clad Defence Minister of the ruling military junta in Thailand was reported on the BBC News website as saying that it was "highly likely" the NYE bomb attacks in Bangkok were carried out by "men in uniform" by which he didn't mean subversive supermarket shelf-stackers and grudge bearing valet parking staff. Sleep safely Bangkok.

The Ultimate Method to Beat the Thai Drink Driving Test . . .I had to drive to the ferry pier to pick up some of our guests a few days ago, the police had a checkpoint set up looking for people who still might be over-enjoying extended New Year celebrations. The boys in brown were stopping all the cars and questioning the drivers. In the absence of any breathalyser equipment, a cunning line of questioning was used in order to weed out any drivers who had been imbibing prior to getting behind the wheel:

Police: Hello. Have you been drinking alcohol?
Me: (Making a point to look at the clock in the car.) It's 10.30am, I had a small Beer Chang last night, does that count?
Police: OK, you can go.