26 Aug

26 Aug - As the sun has been out recently (very good weather for the past week with hardly any showers at all let alone storms) I thought it was time to start to spotlight some of the people who come to Koh Chang and their reasons for doing so. This week it's the turn of Sophie, a volunteer do-gooder from NYC.

Got taken for a free meal at the posh Amari Emerald Cove resort a few days ago. I couldn't face the Thai restaurant at the hotel as once you're used to good Thai food, all hotel Thai food is crap. (I used to do some work at The Oriental in Bangkok, assessing the customer service skills of some of their apprentices and part of the deal was a free meal. I remember having a bowl of Tom Yam Goong, priced at almost 1000 baht and the only differences to to 50 baht Tom Yam from my local restaurant were that the prawns were larger; it wasn't served in a plastic bowl with mismatched cutlery; and that it didn't have any real taste.)

So, Italian food at 'Sassi' it was, and we chose to eat outdoors overlooking the hotel car park. Starter was Caesar Salad with soggy croutons - how a 4 star hotel can screw up what are essentially small square bits of toast is beyond me, but aside from that no complaints. Main course was chicken breast stuffed with something green - probably vegetables - not bad and served with a single boiled potato that had been carved into a conical shape and stood upright for an unspecified reason. Dessert was mango & sticky rice, 40 baht in the market and always delicious. OK, so it's about as Italian as the chefs at the Amari, but seeing if the staff can lower themselves to make the only Thai dessert that's worth eating is always fun. They made it, but the mango wasn't sweet and the sticky rice wasn't cooked properly. So overall about a 6/10 for the food and if I'm building value into the rating as well then you're probably looking at a negative number as I really don't care if I drink out of imported glassware and eat off celadon plates or not, but when the bill is almost 3,000 baht for two people I have high expectations. However, the waiter was very good - he had 10 years experience of working in an Italian restaurant in Bangkok and certainly knew his stuff. Also good is the sight of the hotel lit up at night - it looks far nicer when you can't see the harsh whitewashed walls and just see the subtly lit pool & walkways and security guards lurking by the beach - not sure if that's to keep guests in or keep beach dogs out.

G'day! Last Saturday's (19 Aug) 'Sydney Morning Herald', and also 'Melbourne New Age', newspapers featured a lengthy write up on Koh Chang. Surprise, surprise I get a mention in it, apparently I'm "loquacious". (Yeah, I had to look it up too and it's something that I'm not.) Still, it makes a pleasant change from being called a "twat". Anyway, I've cut & paste the article here, so you too can revel in my growing fame.

Business owners . . . . make sure your place is open in early October, spruce it up and employ an English speaking member of staff with an IQ greater than their shoe size. Why? Because God, in his/her earthly form as a Lonely Planet guide writer, will be visiting this area of Thailand in a few weeks' time in order to update listings. My advice is to offer generous discounts and freebies to anyone with an antipodean accent who wanders into your place in mid to late October.

Tourists . . . Carry a notepad an camera wherever you go, pay more attention to your surroundings than usual, put on your best Steve 'Crocodile Hunter' Irwin accent and make the most of this opportunity to negotiate good discounts and in mid-late October.

Animal lovers . . . Stop reading now. Another year, another dead baby elephant on Koh Chang. That's three dead at the two elephant camps in Klong Prao in the past three years. Baby elephants may be cute but they get stressed pretty easily and the novelty of being pawed by kids and having their photos taken with families crowding round them soon wears off. They get fed-up and lose the will to live - I know how they feel. I'm not a vet or zoologist but I'm pretty sure that a young elephant should last longer than a pair of 99 baht flip-flops do.

21 Aug

21 Aug - Would you swim in that? Neither would I, but only a couple of days after a Dutch woman drowned, and the local powers that be said that there was a system in place to warn / prevent people from swimming in the sea a couple of Thai teenagers had to be rescued from the sea off Whitesands Beach. Not by any lifeguard or rescue crew but by three foreign tourists who were also in the water.

You wouldn't feel safe visiting Koh Chang unless there was an up-to-date warning designed to make you feel how fortunate you are to still be alive. Thankfully the draconian laws restricting carry on items on pick-up truck taxis and the screening of all passengers have now been relaxed. With tourists & locals alike unable to travel between Whitesands and Kai Bae by public transport, they took to camping out roadside until the all-clear was sounded. Meanwhile local officials busied themselves by adopting serious frowns and implementing 'better to be safe than sorry, especially after the fact' policies. However, the novelty wore off after a few hours and the pick-up truck taxis were soon running to their usual irregular schedule. This after police investigations rumours concerning the possible use of suicide fighting cocks by terrorists intent on bringing vehicles to a halt using a potentially lethal mix of menthol inhalers, locally grown vegetables and badly sung Thai pop songs, proved to be unproven. However, the ban on all liquids being carried - except essentials such as Red Bull and Beer Chang - is still in force.

Is Koh Chang dull in low season? Look at it this way the only event of any kind that will take place on the island between June - October is the opening of the new Post Office, by the roadside in Pearl beach, which will begin providing all manner of postal services from 4 September onwards. Locals are already camping outside the doors in anticipation of being the first to glimpse the whitewashed interior walls. Last year there was no new post office that could be opened and next year there probably won't be either, making this a once in a lifetime occurrence for some unfortunates.

Added some guest reviews, in addition to my own thoughts, to the hotel booking pages on the site. The common thread that runs through virtually all reviews is the lack of English ability amongst hotel staff. Unfortunately, this isn't going to change any time soon as virtually all hotel managers have no say in how their hotels are run. Rather than being a GM, they're more like an RM, and so just take care of the staff and resolve day to day problems rather than having any say in how things are actually set-up, organised and run, let alone allocating a budget to any from of worthwhile staff training. Requests for money have to go to the owner, or in some cases to the owner's wife who hold's the purse strings despite never having run or even worked in a hotel before. The only qualification being I'm richer than you so I know best. Being an impotent manager gets to many people after a year or two, hence the high turn over of GMs in many resorts. Some go through 2 or 3 in a year and thus have no direction or continuity. Managers learn that to survive they just go along with the boss, sit back, relax and don't change a thing as what's in place already pleases the boss so why change it? When you're at your resort try asking the manager how often his hotel provides English language classes for staff. (Then ask the staff and see if a) they understand the question and b) if their answer is the same as the manager's.)

Two websites for you to peruse at your leisure. These are well worth a look in the same way that injecting heroin into your eyeballs is well worth trying. Still, if you're reading this at work you might as well waste more of your day by visiting: www.moosplace.se & www.saigarskohchang.com.

15 Aug

15 Aug - It's child vs. dog again in a common sense challenge. In the photo on the right, Santa has the choice to conserve his energy and just stare at a plastic bag on the river bank or do a 'Lassie' and drag the drowning kid out by his bandana. Fortunately, Luke managed to swim back home on his own whilst Santa was ferried back by canoe. Common sense score . . . . Dog 1: Kid 0

Seeing as the Siam Royal View development will now cover the entire length of Chang Noi Beach on Koh Chang it's hard to ignore what will eventually be the largest luxury development of it's kind in Thailand. (Well over 50% larger than the next biggest development which is in Phuket.) In addition to the beach front villas & bungalows, a 50 Rai plot of land has been bought inland for developing into cheaper housing for people who are happy to walk to the beach in return for saving a few million baht. Big developments such as this aren't really my cup of tea, although I wouldn't mind one of the waterfront plots with boat mooring that will be on sale later this year or the large plot at the very end of the beach - a triangular shape with water on two sides and private beach area. Very nice if you've got 20 million baht handy. But I can see the advantages for people who aren't yet living in Thailand permanently or are just looking for a holiday home and aren't interested in all the hassles that go along with watching over Thai labourers and dealing with petty bureaucracy. Therefore, there's now a Siam Royal View section on this site covering pretty much all you need to know.

We've had some nice weather recently which is good. However, just because the sun is out that doesn't mean that the sea is safe to swim in at this time of year. (The white topped waves crashing against the shore should be an indicator.) If it's cloudy no-one goes near the sea, but as soon as the sun comes out people go in & forget about the possibility of riptides etc. Unfortunately, this is what happened on Aug 12th when a Dutch woman drowned off Whitesands Beach, her husband & sister were rescued, but she died. The news reports of this incident went for the sensationalist angle and described a them being washed out to sea by a tidal wave or mini-tsunami - which is nonsense. Just down to people not expecting currents & undertow and then panicking when they get swept out to sea.

Meanwhile on Klong Prao, beach four Thai tourists also had to be pulled out of the water after being taken out to sea by the current. BUT . . according to a Thai guy we know who works for the local rescue organisation, and was at the scene, three of them died. However, there haven't been any news reports about this. (Maybe four people drowning on the same day would be too much bad publicity.) There are no official lifeguards or red warning flags on the beaches so if you do see anyone out patrolling the beach that almost certainly means that an incident has recently taken place.

Totally unrelated to Koh Chang . . . but the Hollywood remake of 'Bangkok Dangerous' (called 'Time to Kill') is currently being filmed in Bangkok and they're looking for extras right now. Both the original and the remake are directed by Danny & Oxide Pang from Hong Kong but Nicholas Cage will be playing the hitman this time round rather than an unknown Thai actor, although he won't be a deaf mute as in the original movie: "We'd like to keep him the same, but we understand that from a marketing point of view Nic needs to have some lines", Oxide Pang is quoted as saying.

The original is one of the best Thai movies you'll come across and it's well worth picking up a copy simply for the scenes in which Kong, accompanied by the ghost of his dead friend, walk through a Japanese restaurant in order to gun down the guys who killed his mate; and the super slo-mo ending where you see individual glasslike, rain drops falling as Kong does what he believes is the right thing to atone for his crimes. (I won't spoil the ending for you.)

+++

Just added more details of the lovely little housing development on Koh Mak. I just received a detailed plot plan and some floor plans for the two styles of house. Nine of the sixteen plots have already been sold with seven remaining. If you've got 60 -75,000 Euros to spend on an island retreat with a large garden (500sqm of land) and only a few minutes walk from two long sandy beaches then take a look.

9 Aug

9 Aug - Just added details of the very nice modern Thai-style houses for sale on Koh mak. A 2 storey house built using local 'it daeng' (red stone), teak wood with terracotta roof tiles (as seen on all temples but rarely nowadays on houses) sitting on 500sqm of Chanote titled land can be yours for 75,000 Euros. (Facilities include a pool, property management service and use of a private island nearby.)

There are two songs going around my head at the moment, one is the Chili Peppers' 'Tell me Baby' and the other is a tune that I'm trying as hard as I can to get out of my head. If you thought the Crazy Frog version of Axel F. was annoying then have a listen to the website for Koh Mak Buri Hut Resort.

Forget about a speedboat - the waterborne penis extension for the middle-aged. Forget about a yacht, the rich man's plaything. Real men sail squid boats. And fortunately I know where you can get one. For a mere 200,000 baht this Trabant of the high seas can be yours. It comes equipped with GPS fishfinder, which presumably works for squid as well, a Yamaha inboard diesel engine and loads of bright lights to attract the squid up to the surface. All you need do is round up a Cambodian crew and give them all amusing nicknames such as Seaman Staines', 'Master Bates' and 'Roger the Cabin Boy'. You'll be the envy of your friends and neighbours as you pull into harbour declaring "The squids on me tonight!" (Alternatively, a far better idea would be to fix the boat up for use as a snorkelling tour boat.) If you're interested email Carsten, not me.

It's now possible to take a Thai language class on Koh Chang at the island's only language school. Anchana Language School recently opened up on Whitesands, opposite Top Resort, and is offering classes in both Thai & English. Worth checking out if you're planning on relocating or working on the island and want to learn local speak. Or if you're the boss of a business where many of your Thai staff have what educators, and your customers, refer to as "a piss poor grasp of English". Send 'em along for classes, it's worth it in the long run.

Finally . . . openings for entrepreneurs on Koh Chang. Laid off? Taken early retirement? Recently divorced? Are you looking for a new challenge, the chance to earn big bucks and the opportunity to live and work in paradise? Then why not run a beer bar on Koh Chang. Live out your fantasies by pimping ho's on a Thai island. Visit the unsuccessful attempt at a covered market in Chai Chet that's currently being converted into a beer bar enclave for more details.

4 Aug

4 Aug -
"I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away
Waitin' on a sunny day"

Here's a good MP3 of the live version, from Barcelona 2002, of Bruce Springsteen's ' Waiting ona Sunny Day' stick it on your Ipod and you'll almost forget the rain outside your window. (The rain's due to a tropical storm over southern China & the start of the SW monsoon coming across the gulf of Thailand . . . so it's wet everywhere at the moment, not just on KC.)

I've now added a search facility to the site - on all pages except this one, so if you can't find the info that you're looking for, or simply can't be bothered trawling through all the crap . . . give it a go.

Google Earth isn't the only entity with aerial photos of Koh Chang. Aerial Photography Thailand, who, rather aptly given their name, specialise in aerial photography in Thailand are another. Justin, the boss, sent me a few small pics of the KC coastline - three of which are on this page. If you're looking of aerial photos of KC for whatever reason, drop him an email.

Would you pay 30 baht for a four bar cappucino Kit-Kat in preference to 19 baht for the regular flavour?

Business challenge . . .which of these two 'once in a lifetime' investment opportunities would you go for? 1) Anyone wanting to 'invest' 20 million baht in a proposed development built on a small plot of farmland by the road, let me know and I'll put you in touch with the mastermind. 2) Anyone wanting to 'invest' 20 million baht in a proven recipe for snake oil, let me know and I'll put you in touch with the inventor. If you chose 1) . . .you're the ideal investor for Koh Chang. If you chose 2) you probably have either an MBA or some common sense as 1) is actually real.

The Amari Hotel company would like you all to know that if you have US$325+++ handy you & your Mum can enjoy a 'Mother's Day' break during August at the Amari Emerald Cove, Koh Chang. Price includes: free return airport transfer, dinner for 2, spa treatment, fruit & flowers and the dreaded, sickly sweet 'Welcome drink'.

Will we be seeing any reverse swing at the Headingley test this week?

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that the current international terror alert level on Koh Chang was 'Lilac'. A reader wanted to know what that means / implies. The answer is simple, we're on an alert that's a step down from 'Beige' and several steps up from any number of pastel shades.