22 Dec - Koh Chang Update

22 Dec -

It's that time of year when our thoughts turn to one man. A man who's actions benefited mankind and who, from humble beginnings, rose to lead a legion of followers whom eagerly waited his every move and his every word. I am of course talking about Bono. Professional Irishman, all round musical genius and I-pod salesman. Bono has an I-pod, he even has a nice brushed aluminium limited edition line with his own name on them. I don't. He also goes out of his way to help charities, even those that go to the aid of unpopular causes where the victims aren't particularly photogenic. And, errr, I don't.

So in a a bid to put me in Bono's good books, it's time for the IamKohChang.com 'Dig deep and give' Christmas charity appeal with all proceeds going to charity, in case that wasn't blindingly obvious by the time you reached the end of this sentence.

Deciding how to raise cash wasn't easy, collecting half a ton of bottletops that can be smelted down and sold to Mick the metal merchant wasn't an option, neither was a 'Bring & Buy' sale, so I opted for the online version of the begging bowl - Paypal.

Having done that narrowing down the nominees for Charity of the Year wasn't easy. Nominations ranged from 'The Association of Koh Chang East Coast Hoteliers' a barely known minority group frequently shunned by foreign visitors to Koh Chang and in need of all the financial assistance they can receive, to the 'A bargirl isn't just for Christmas Appeal'. Set up to ensure that long after their Xmas flings are over, Koh Chang's bargirls will receive a new Nokia phone and gold bracelet to lessen the emotional pain of separation. As their spokeswoman said when contacted for a comment for this site "Some man no good, promise money but not send, buffalo sick, mama papa need new house, no have phone, sister baby in hospital, many problem in my life, but no complain. I alone in a big world. You have good heart, you like Thai girl?"

Persuasive as both of the above are they didn't make the cut for the final two options. Those of you who enjoy reading this site and are sitting at home with Christmas bonuses burning a hole in your pocket read on. Have your kids really done enough good this year to justify the expense of a new Nintendo Wii? I doubt it. Does your spouse deserve that slap up festive meal or could they do with skipping the dessert and donating the saved cash to a worthy cause? (OK probably not, I'd go for the Toffee Banoffee pie over a pock marked Darfurian child too - but you get my drift.)

Here are two Paypal buttons. They accept credit card and Paypal donations. On the left is the 60GB Ipod that I'll squander any money you give to me on. On the right is a cute kitten. He's alive and well and lives at our house. If he gets sick the only guys who can treat him are Lisa and Carla from Koh Chang Animal Foundation. The Foundation exists entirely on donations and there are a growing band of pet owners on KC who are very thankful for the efforts of Lisa who set up the foundation and who has ploughed over US$90,000 of her own money into keeping it going for the past few years.

For more info on I-pods see: http://www.apple.com/ipod/ipod.html & For more info on Koh Chang Animal Foundation see: www.kohchanganimalfoundation.org. Having weighed up the pros and cons of each option . . . it's time to whip out the plastic.

Choice 1: Buy me an Ipod or some other impulse buy gadget that I'll only use when I'm in an airport Departure Lounge. For no reason other than I'm probably the only person on the planet without one and even though I'll probably lose it or break it in 6 months it'd be nice to have. Ahh, the joy of giving . . not nearly as good as the joy of receiving.	Choice 2: Save cute kitten's (or puppy's) life, make the world a better place and book your spot in heaven . . . or your money back! Give a few pounds, dollars or euros to the Koh Chang Animal Foundation and I personally guarantee you'll have a warm, fuzzy feeling throughout the holiday season. Plus there's a free beer from me for anyone who donates something to this worthy cause.

Weather - There's been a strong cold NE wind blowing for the past few days which means all snorkelling trips and speedboats trips have been cancelled. The forecast for the next 2-3 days at least is more of the same. If you see white capped waves when you cross over to Koh Chang on the ferry, you wont be going diving or out on a boat for a couple of days at least.

Coming soon . . . is Koh Chang ready for ultra modern, million dollar villas? One German developer thinks so and has 19 of them planned on Koh Chang's newest luxury development 'The Edge Village' near Bangbao. More info and photos coming in the New Year.

Anyone following the financial markets will have seen Thailand stock market soar over 10% in a single day. (Ok, so this was after it plummeted over 15% the previous day.) The reasons are the military government's cunning new plans to stop evil foreigners bringing cash into Thailand and tricking banks into selling them their entire stash of baht at dirt cheap rates. But this ruling has a big effect on anyone wanting to transfer money into Thailand to buy a condo freehold . . . as those buying freehold condos, will see the Bank of Thailand retain 30% of foreign funds remitted, interest-free for one year. (So you need to transfer 130% of the purchase price.) BUT, under the new rules, foreigners who want to buy a leasehold property in Thailand will have no problem doing so if they can bring in Thai baht for the purpose.

Visas . . . if you're living on KC and doing the 30-day visa runs and expecting to get 3 consecutive visas and then head off and get a 2 month tourist visa from a neighbouring country in order to stay longer, bear in mind that some people who have just got their third 30 day visa have also had a note written in their passport saying that once it expires they cant re-enter Thailand for 90 days - at all. If this happens your options are to try to get a new visa in Malaysia, if they decide not to give it, bearing in mind the written note in your passport, then getting a new passport before coming back into Thailand is your only 'Plan B' option.

Merry Xmas etc

17 Dec - Koh Chang Update

17 Dec - The only pool on Koh Mak is now in use, but only for guests staying at Koh Mak Villa or Goodtime Resort.

No update for a while as I've been busy writing all the things I miss about Xmas on the back of a postage stamp using a marker pen. That's not actually true . . .I've been busy trying to think of anything I miss about Christmas which I would write on the back of a postage stamp, if I had a stamp or could think of anything to write.

In keeping with the spirit of Christmas, and in the name of nostalgia not laziness, I've dug into the archives and rehashed something from Christmas past. This is something I wrote about Xmas for 'The Nation' newspaper a few years ago, it might raise a smile as you sit in your office cubicle on a dull rainy day wishing you were somewhere else. It was that or add a falling javascript snowflake effect to this page, but I couldn't bring myself to go that far, and I've a feeling Jesus wouldn't have wanted me to do that either.

Last weekend was a holiday weekend in Thailand, like most people I expected the island to be packed with cars as Bangkokians, with their end of year bonuses already in their pockets, took a 2-3 day break. However, the only places that saw any increase in customers were the well established beachfront places such as Klong Prao Resort & Koh Chang Resort plus the 7-eleven minimarts. Although it isn't politically correct to say so, most small business owners on Koh Chang are now relying on a tsunami, earthquake, meteor or wayward North Korean nuke to strike Samui, Phuket or preferably both as the only way of ensuring a profit this high season.

Three contractors are bidding to build the road around Koh Chang . One from Bangkok, another Trat and one from Koh Chang. They go to meet the local officials in charge of handling tenders for the contract. The contractor from Bangkok takes out box load of documents, plans and engineering reports. "Well," he says. "We've calculated that this job will cost 270 million baht. 200 million for materials, 40 million for labour and logisitics and 30 million profit." The contractor from Trat whips out a looseleaf binder and calculator and also comes up with a similar figure as the guy from Bangkok. The contractor from Koh Chang walks in empty handed, but leans over to the local official and whispers: "370 million." The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't even inspect the site like the other guys! How did you come up with such a figure?" "Easy," the builder explains, "50 million for you, 50 million for me and we hire the guy from Bangkok to do the work." Not based on a true story at all.

Muay Thai boxing at Bangbao Stadium tonight. 350 baht ticket say the English language flyers, which is more than a ticket for a professional fight at one of the Bangkok stadiums - which actually are stadiums in the sense that they are structures with seating, costs.

Festive thanks to Marshall for the wine, Tapio for the wierd Finnish liqueur, Mary for the single malt and Andrei for the cognac from Dagestan which I'm reliably informed is almost as good as the brandy from Kazakstan. All I need now is a cocktail recipe that includes them all.

Phuket's tourist numbers are up 85% since last year, which rather puts the 10% increase in visitor numbers to Koh Chang, that the bloke in charge of tourism last week used the adjective "skyrocketing" to describe, in perspective.

If you're in a bar and a well dressed Thai guy comes in, orders a martini shaken not stirred, and then proceeds to aim a few well rehearsed chat-up lines as sultry damsels he's probably an undercover cop. How do I know? Because today's Bangkok Post has a story that you couldn't make up. Entitled 'Undercover Officers told to look less obvious', the story regards undercover officers who have been told to make themselves less obvious to criminals

Pol Col Thitiratch deputy commander of the Crime Suppression Division said the policemen should blend in, not stand out. "Sometimes, it's a neatly-pressed shirt and trousers they want. Or they could don a suit if need be. Wear whatever is necessary to get to the criminals. But they should avoid wearing clothes that tell people they are police. Look at James Bond. He's a classic example of someone who can be as smartly-dressed and a capable secret agent," he said (really).

7 Dec

7 Dec - Eight black foods, complete with black candles, served to the spirits at 10pm on three consecutive Wednesdays . . . and even that couldn't prevent both our boat and our pick-up from breaking down this past week.

Supposedly high season has begun but Koh Chang is still pretty dead. Hotels are all full from Xmas to the first week of January. But it'll be interesting to see if the busy period ends by mid-February as it did this year. If so, most shopkeepers only have a couple of months to make the majority of their income for the year. Not a surprise really but another example of the 80:20 rule in action. Bullish news though from a man with a very lengthy title 'Chairman of the Koh Chang Subdistrict Administration Organization'. Apparently there are 3-5 applications per month for building new hotels on Koh Chang and demand is "skyrocketing" with tourist arrivals up 10% year on year. (Look there are some figures floating past, I'll pluck them out of the air and use them as statistics.) Dull News story here.

Tracy with the dog - your email address isn't correct.

Got a copy of the Sunday Times brought over for me by a visitor to KC last week. The magazine cover asked readers what they'd do with 50 pence, buy a bar of chocolate or save the sight of a child. That hit home and certainly made me think. I didn't realise the price of a bar of chocolate had risen so much back in the UK.

Koh Chang's got the tail-end of Typhoon Durian at the moment, choppy seas and quite a bit of rain last night. Back to normal sunshine today though.

Been back to 'Crust', the new bakery in Klong Prao, several times this week simply because it's hands down the best place for bread on the island. Mam got a 5 baht discount there earlier this week, so hopefully it'll be up to 10 baht as a result of this mention. Who says opinions cant be bought on this site? More seriously, anyone thinking of opening a business on KC should take note of what this place does - it satisfies an unfilled need for a good product at a good price. Simple. There are too many small businesses thinking only about profit and neglecting quality, coming up with ideas that there obviously isn't a demand for or simply copying everyone else - what Koh Chang really needs is yet another western owned beer bar. The American diner in VJ Plaza is a good product (Real burgers, creamy shakes etc) - but has only very limited appeal to visitors to Koh Chang, it'd go down well in Pattaya or Phuket though. The island's only Irish pub fills the need but falls flat as soon as you walk in the door. All the atmosphere of a barn and none of the charm any good pub possesses. It the future it may well do well . . . providing none of the hotel owners with land on the main stretch of Whitesands decide to build their own Irish pub; and they get some staff who can take down an order correctly. I've met several owners of east coast resorts all of whom have built small resorts which offer a good standard of room for a good price. You can get a lovely AC bungalow with TV, fridge, breakfast for well under 1,000 baht. But there's no demand at all from western visitors, there's no need to be met. I get asked how they can get more customers and the best I can come up with is give a way a free beer in the restaurant with every room or when that fails, a free room with every beer. Or failing that, sell the resort to a sucker as a long term investment.

The Elephant motif I understand. But the cock ???? A few photos of three of the most popular resorts on Koh Chang, all located at the north end of Klong Prao beach - Paradise Resort, Koh Chang Resort, Klong Prao Resort. Photo gallery added as a public service so that visitors to two of the resorts can snigger at the poor souls who booked into the other - the one with a big cock on a pedestal.

Hotel owners who read this site, something for you . . . I'm already getting emails from your guests complaining about the differences between what they actually want and and what you think they want. The majority of these emails relate to music and the reason why hotels think it necessary to have evening meals accompanied by pretty bad live music or schmaltzy CDs. This type of 'entertainment' may well be classier than an scale model of an Italian farmer's cottage built entirely from international cheeses but it doesn't mean that it's a good or sensible idea.

One hotel in Kai Bae has a wandering Filipino minstrel strolling along the beach serenading/annoying diners. Why would this be attractive to guests? Others stick a 'Best of Lionel Ritchie' CD on and subject diners to this night after night after night. Live bands, or more commonly two or three guys and a Casio organ, are also apparently a winner. But when either half the diners can't hear themselves think due to the thud from the base & drums or the restaurant empties every time the band comes on, surely it's time to rethink evening entertainment when this happens.

The majority of guests don't even want live music when they're having a quiet dinner. Sure a little music is nice if peace and quiet isn't a viable option, but how about some Thai music - not the 'Saw-U' Thai violin that makes a sound not dissimilar to that of a of a rusty cat being gang raped, but a nice bit of 'ranad' - wooden xylophone - which can be quite mellow. Volume can even be set low, so that it isn't intrusive. Now, there's a novelty. Your guests aren't travelling half way around the world to hear 'My Heart will Go On' beaten into submission by a bargain basement cover band.

Christmas is on the way and what could be more festive that Christmas lights. Oxford Street has them, Bangkok's shopping malls have them, so why shouldn't Koh Chang have them? (Money and no one being bothered to put them up aside.) Kids will be delighted to see an Xmas tree in the hotel lobby, but as doting parents you'd probably like to take your little 'uns off to see the best & brightest lights on Koh Chang. The place to visit is Koh Chang Entertainment Plaza, a collection of near empty beer bars in Chai Chet, just north of Klong Prao beach. Stop by the roadside after dark and feast your eyes on the garish combinations of primary coloured neon and fairylights. Your kids will love it. But be prepared for the possibility of a few awkward questions if they're over 4 years old:

"Mum, who's the fat old guy with the red face sitting on the chair."
" Err, that's . . . errrrm Santa. He's come to Koh Chang for a holiday."
"Wow. Can I say hello to Santa, Mum?"
"Not now he's busy. See."
"It's not fair, that lady has been sitting on his lap for a long time. I want a go."
"Not tonight. There's a long queue of other ladies waiting their turn, I think she's one of Santa's special helpers."
"She looks very happy. Do you think Santa promised to give her something special this year?"
"Yes dear, I'm sure she'll be getting her stockings filled tonight. Now back in the car."