9 Feb - Koh Chang Update

9 Feb - A nice beach for anyone looking to get away from the crowds. No need to trek too far to find a bit of privacy if you find Whitesands, Klong Prao or Kai Bae too touristy. Instead, head down to Bailan Resort where you'll find the beach below. Brand new, AC Bungalows on the beach for around 1300 baht/night and fan bungalows for around 700-800baht. Part of the beach is also rented by 'Mangrove', which has well designed but simple bungalows aimed at flashpackers rather than their scruffier backpacker brethren.

In a new section entitled 'Biggest disappointment of the week', I'll be covering the sad tale of a guy who left Koh Chang glum faced after visiting the 'By Hand Club', in Klong Prao, opposite the gas station, only to find that not only was it staffed by a couple of middle-aged women but that it merely sold handicrafts and nothing more exciting than that was available. Next week, it's the turn of www.kohchangtv.com, but if you're expecting a site for local cross dressers you'll be wasting your time.

Psst . . . wanna invest in a once in a lifetime opportunity. See www.royalsiamtrust.com, land bankers on the mainland, southeast of Trat. You too can invest in over 100 acres of prime grade mainland beachfront in a location that currently receives about 150 visitors a year all of whom have got lost trying to find the Koh Chang ferry piers or have stopped to rest on their way to the casino on the Cambodian border. Anyway, according to a report in the Singapore Times, the equivalent of 4 million baht/rai will buy you a very small slice in the prospector's pie then all you have to do is wait for someone with even more money to burn to come and take it off your hands As a guide, you can pick up beachfront around here for a couple of million/rai or less easily. Without wanting to use the word 'dodgy', it does seem a bit 'd-d-y' as far as worthwhile investments go.

I've had a few banana shakes in the past week, so, for anyone's who's a bit of a connoisseur of all things fruity, the results of my unscientific, subjective taste test follow: 1) Paradise Resort, Koh Wai - 50 baht Actually had three there in the past week when I've been out on the boat, can't fault the shakes and the restaurant is a great place for people watching 2) The cheap Thai restaurant opposite Alina Resort, Whitesands whose name I can't remember at the moment - 30 baht, if they can do a great shake for 30 baht why cant more places? 3) Salakphet Seafood, Salakphet - 40 baht, probably joint second but edged out on the extra 10 baht price. 4) Buddha View, Bangbao - 60 baht, tasted fine but not blended enough, still a bit crunchy.

The new telephone office will open soon on Pearl Beach just behind the Post Office. No longer will you have to trek into Trat to apply for a phone line and be told to wait 3 months, or be told that "the internet is full" when you apply for your ADSL connection. Those services and other reasons to queue, will be available here by the end of the month.

Dhevatara Cove, Samui . . . take a look . . . how nice are those pool villas? On Samui one will set you back a cool million - US dollars not baht. But what if you could buy an almost identical style of villa, complete with a private pool, on a small private beach on Koh Chang for well under half the cost of one on Samui . . . how nice would that be to own? Fear not house-hunters . . .More info on the way just as soon as I get round to adding it.

Bamboo Bungalows on Whitesands do Italian food on the beach and it's pretty good. I usually avoid eating western food on Koh Chang unless someone else is paying for the meal . . .and this occasion was no exception, but I'll be back again and maybe even pay myself next time. The pizza tasted like pizza and the pasta tasted like pasta - that might not sound like much of an achievement, but if you've visited Thailand before you'll know that it is. It's not in the same league as Invito, the best of the Italian restaurants on KC, but it'll do me.

The March edition of Thailand Property Guide will include a 3-page feature on the paradise island of Koh Chang . . . including colour photos no less. I know this because I've just finished writing it.

A couple of serious investors, each with with 50 - 80 million baht on hand, have contacted me recently and they're both looking for a profitable small resort on Koh Chang to buy. The key words here are 'buy' i.e. not lease for a few years and 'profitable' i.e. really makes money and offers a good rate of return on the selling price, two criteria which rule out quite a few places I can think of. But if you're a resort owner or know anyone who has one and is interested in selling let me know. (And if you want to buy a 38 Rai, 150+ room, well-known, west coast resort for 560 million baht, let me know too.)

Two modern houses for long term rent in Kai Bae. One at 25,000 baht/month ( pictured left) and the other at 30,000 baht. Both quiet locations, both on 1 Rai or more of land (1600sqm+), both built during the past 18 months to a good standard - basically, the best quality house rentals you'll find at the moment on the island. Photos and info will be online next week, in the meantime if you're interested email me.

It's always fun to receive emails from some Eastern Europeans as they're often pretty excited when you actually reply, and you can't help but invoke images of Borat . . .

+++

Subj: Hello from Latvia!!!!!!!

Hello Ian!!!!!!!
Thank You very much for contakt with ##### diving center, Everything is ok ,I find my friends.....
Best of the Best regards from the Latvia
Have a nice times

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29 Jn - Koh Chang Update

29 Jan - Tip for travellers, if you're arranging to meet at the treehouse - get the right one. I picked up a couple by the road in the south east of the island who had gone the wrong way, realised their mistake and were trying to get round to the west coast to the Lonely beach branch.

In response to numerous, more than one but less than three, emails asking about the absence of a discussion board on this site. I had thought about it but I really can't be arsed at the moment. Therefore, you're best off posting on the TripAdvisor Koh Chang forum if you want to hear from people who've visited KC before and also want the opinions of the very helpful Local Expert for Koh Chang who goes out of his way to help those in their time of need. It's a kind of a Mother Theresa position, providing some rays of hope and/or comfort for those who've booked at resorts they really shouldn't have bothered with or weaning unsuspecting Americans off their painful addiction to Let's Go guides. the main difference is that it can be done from home rather than the slums of Calcutta.

Question of the week came from one of our guests who'd just arrived here and obviously wasn't involved much in planning the holiday "Which way's Koh Chang?" she asked There's only one answer for this type of question, but as I didn't feel I knew her well enough to enquire as to what type of drugs she was on, my reply was limited to "Err, over there." and pointing north, adding "You'll find a map on the table." hoping she'd manage to find the table by herself.

In case you missed it, the Thai Justice Ministry is currently overhauling it's laws to make them fairer fair to women and improve Thailand standing as a modern, almost first world, country. The marital rape law has long been a bone of contention as it allowed husbands to rape their wives with impunity. The Ministry had a tough choice, abolish the law to make this illegal and so be equal to both sexes or, and here's the good bit, make it legal for wives to rape their husbands and so ensure equality of the sexes. Guess which option they went for?

Last week we heard from Mr Kampon Jaroenkajornkul, head of Trat tourism business association, who came out with the statement ''After the bombings <>, around 10% of visitors to Koh Chang decided to leave the island for fear of their safety.'' - a sentence which is must be some kind of anagram formed from a far more sensible statement. This week another local power broker with a desire to be seen as a safari-suited mover and shaker has come up with a solution to Koh Chang's water woes according the the Thai News Agency.

'The Deputy Chief of Koh Chang has proposed to use Reverse Osmosis, a system used to distil sea water to fresh water, to control the water shortage on the island.

Mr. Sakprasert Charoenprasit, revealed that Koh Chang will face water shortages from January-May every year. Five-star hotels and resorts will not encounter water shortages as they have their own underground water pumps. However, small hotels and resorts have to buy fresh water. As for the long-term plan to prevent water shortage, reservoirs will be constructed on the island and RO system is expected to be installed.'

Whether he prefaced his announcement with "Baldrick, I have a cunning plan . . ." isn't mentioned. However, imagine there was an island in Thailand, far further offshore than Koh Chang, and which had well over 2.5 million visitors per year, dozens of world class hotels and a serious water problem, one so severe that even the best 5 star hotels had to ration water at times. So, wouldn't Samui have had a huge reverse osmosis plant by now if it was a viable option? It hasn't, although some resorts do have their own small scale RO plants. I wonder if Mr Sakprasert will address the problem of where the huge plant for Koh Chang will discharge tens of thousands of litres of super concentrated saline waste water every day. Also nice to see that his position as Deputy Chief of Koh Chang gives him the authority to decide to build reservoirs in water catchment areas, all of which lie in the National Park.

On the subject of bright ideas that faded fast under the glaring light of 'real life', let's not forget that by 2007 motorists were to be banned from bringing their cars onto Koh Chang and tourists were to be ferried from beach to beach by boat whilst the main form of transport on the island was going to be the humble bicycle and Whitesands was to be transformed into an overdeveloped sea of drab, uninspiring shop units to become the architectural equivalent of Valium. OK, so the last aim came true, but previous examples of totally un-thought out thoughts that pop-up in the minds of politicians when a reporter is anywhere in the vicinity can be found in the News Archives.

How do you know you've made it in Thailand? When you can drive your Ferrari to Koh Chang and if there isn't enough room in the boot for your suitcases you can get one of your staff to bring them in your Hummer, as an expat guest staying at the Amari did last week.

Coming soon, eco-friendly sea transport, ideal for anyone feeling guilty about blowing their personal carbon allowance for the year on the flight to Thailand. (No, it isn't a yacht.)

22 Jan - Koh Chang Update

22 Jan - It's not a sea view but as views go it's a pretty nice one to wake up to. 13 plots of land for 90 year lease to foreign buyers at the north-west of Koh Chang. Prices from 1.45 million baht for 852sqm. 10 minutes drive to Whitesands, 2 minutes to the local village and buyers are allowed access to the private beach & facilities at Siam Royal View. More info here.

Ever wondered what the first symptoms of heartworm in a dog look like? Neither had I until blood started pouring out of our dog's nostrils the other day. Fortunately we were in Rayong at the time and know the vet there very well. So after three injections, a course of pills and a day spent holding an ice pack on the dog's snout 'Santa' made a quick recovery.

It's around this time of year that our thoughts turn to the annual commemorations of the Battle of Koh Chang, a France vs. Thailand naval encounter in January 1941. Our thoughts also turn to thinking that it'd be helpful if certain websites mentioned the annual celebrations in advance in the future. So, had you been at the naval memorial on the mainland a couple of days ago you would have seen naval top brass staring out to sea in obligatory sombre mood. If this sounds like a reason to visit Koh Chang in mid-January 2008, best pencil it in to your diary now.

Thai TV station iTV ran a series of news features on Koh Chang. They had their helicopter buzzing around the skies over Koh Chang 3 weeks ago and the results of their trip were aired last week. I only saw one as I tend to have better things to do that watch any Thai TV channel. This was about the changes in Bangbao and how the poor fishing folk had moved out to be replaced by restaurateurs and dive companies. Not exactly ground breaking investigative journalism but some nice aerial pictures.

Dominic from 'Six Billion Others' was on Koh Chang interviewing Thais for this art project which will result in a video installation in a Paris gallery. The project, headed by French artiste Yann Arthus-Bertrand is sponsored by Apple & Air France amongst others and consists of a team of six people travelling the world conducting identical interviews with people about their lives, hopes and dreams. The end results should see the light of day in 2008. For now see www.goodplanet.org for more info. Is it only the French who can get away with this type of thing, call it art and find corporate sponsors to boot?

Mr Kampon Jaroenkajornkul, head of Trat tourism business association, spoke to the Bangkok Post regarding tourism post NYE bombs ''After the bombings, around 10% of visitors to Koh Chang decided to leave the island for fear of their safety.'' So where did these tourists who felt they were holidaying in an unsafe environment whilst on one of the sleepiest islands in Thailand go to? They couldn't go home as flights were full. They couldn't go to Bangkok obviously. Other tourist hot spots would be far higher up a list of potential terrorist targets than Koh Chang, so Samui, Pattaya, Chiang Mai, Phuket etc were out. My guess is either they all went next door to the peace loving nation of Cambodia or Mr Kampon may be talking nonsense. Ruling out the first option on the grounds that I only included it so that there'd be a choice of options, you're left with the second. Given that a lot of people had only booked into Koh Chang's hotels until the 2 or 3 of January there was bound to be a definite drop off in hotel occupancy for the following week, which has picked up again now. Why the quiet second week of January? Possibly because a lot of money grabbing resorts charge 'Peak Season' prices until mid-January so unless you really have to visit in the first two weeks of the year anyone with a brain will delay their holiday until the second half of the month and prices have come down. (The full news story including Mr Kampon's 15 minutes of fame is here).

Google hate me. They stopped me showing ads on this site for a reason they won't specify so there goes a couple of thousand baht in monthly ad revenue. So if you've got something crap you want to advertise let me know and I may be desperate enough to take you up on the offer. Otherwise, I've still got two kidneys and so one is up for grabs to the highest bidder.

Need a Buddhist prayer for a special occasion? Perhaps one to keep you safe whilst riding your motorbike? Or do you simply to ward off ghosts but don't what to say? Mam donated a couple of thousand prayer books to Klong Prao temple as they didn't have any. So it's bonus points for us in the eyes of the Lord Buddha and my thoughts of reincarnation as a cockroach are now firmly in the past.

Try Tapas Bar on Whitesands for a pre- dinner drink on the beach. Nice, friendly little bar on the sand with no thumping music.

15 Jan - Koh Chang Update

14 Jan - A room with a vista fit for Thai nobility at the aptly named 'Siam Royal View'.

Thrillseekers can now parasail on Koh Chang courtesy of Rung Rueng Parasail, Kai Bae. Get dragged skywards by speedboat for 600 baht. Head to Coral Resort, Kai Bae or contact any tour agency or resort in this part of the island for info.

Down in Bangbao there have been sightings of a foreign visitor engaging in unnatural activities on a regular basis. Apparently he's taken it on himself to pick up garbage out of the sea. Restaurateurs have been told repeatedly not to instruct their staff to throw garbage into the sea early in the morning before any tourists are around, but this still occurs. Whether this one person's actions will leave any long lasting impression of the wealthy individuals responsible for the majority of garbage that gets dumped directly into the sea remains to be seen. Probably not if the hotels who continue to burn their day's garbage on waste land not too far from Klong Plu waterfall are anything to go by. There's nothing like the smell of smouldering plastic at sunset to remind you that you're in Thailand.

Big property update. Info on the compact and bijou Baan Talay Thai development on the quiet east coast added for anyone looking for a peaceful life by the sea. Photos and details here. Other good stuff on the way when I have time including plots of land ideal for housing. 13 nicely sized plots from 852sqm - 2,432sqm, with Chanote title, access road, electricity and water on site, from 1.45 million - 3.8 million baht. Lovely, quiet back to nature location in a valley, jungle clad mountains around you, 1km to the local village, and only 10-15 minutes drive to Whitesands Beach. Also more condo units on sale soon from 3.8 million baht for an 82sqm 1 bedroom place.

Live Music update - The Irish Pub on Whitesands are currently advertising for Folk Singers. Keep an eye out for the Thai equivalent of an old bearded guy in a fisherman's smock, with his finger in his ear singing an acappella tale of how rough life was for those involved in building the Manchester ship canal in days gone by.

According to guests who stayed at Tropicana Resort over Xmas & New Year the management managed to seriously screw up a lot of bookings with at least 30 people being double booked and getting sent off to stay at another less desirable and far less popular hotel for all or part of their stay. Klong Prao Resort was another place that came in for a fair bit of criticism for unfriendly staff and crap management by guests who stayed over New Year and shared their thoughts with me.

If you've ever wondered why Thais aren't great explorers, this sign in Lonely Beach may provide the answer. South-west is the direction you head to for Italy, Nepal and Cambodia apparently. A few more photos of Lonely Beach added so you can see how the young people of today live when they are on holiday. (I don't know why they choose to live in a shack either when there's a perfectly good 3-star just along the beach. It must be a phase they're going through.) Lonely Beach photos

Another wedding on Klong Prao beach last week, the moment I heard the grooms utter his vows "Without you Angie I can't function." (That was his vows in their entirety.), I knew that as soon as the bloke presiding over the ceremony and who pronounced the happy couple man and wife 'by the power vested in me by the General Manager of Klong Prao Resort and the Lord God Almighty' I just knew that Angie and hubby's first song would be Robbie Williams' 'Angels' . . . and so it was.

Sangtawan restaurant has now replaced Cookies as my favourite eatery on Whitesands. Not sure what's happened to Cookies in the past few months, they're getting complacent and it isnt as good as it was. However, Sangtawan, adjacent to Cookies, on the beach with the white lanterns in the tree, has been excellent the past couple of times we've been. The cocktails are also worth a mention as they're cheap and taste like cocktails should rather than over sweet fruit punch.

7 Jan - Koh Chang Update

7 Jan - Think you'll be bored on holiday? Think again, Koh Chang possesses watersports facilities to compete with those anywhere in Thailand. Inflatables now come in three colours and are available to rent from all good beach vendors. Expect a yellow airbed to be added in time for the 2007-08 season.

The Ultimate Battle of the Ultimate Guides. Koh Chang now has three different 'Ultimate' guides to the island. Perhaps one should rebrand itself as the 'ultimatest' guide? See the giants battle it out for e-supremacy, bragging rights and advertisers cash at www.kohchang-thailand.info & www.whitesandsthailand.com whilst www.koh-chang.com is only in it's ultimate form in print.

Then there's this site, 'The ultimate penultimate guide to Koh Chang' - written by someone with time on his hands and nothing better to do for people like you, those with time on their hands to read it and nothing better to do.

The Ultimate Day Out - Pattaya's Siam Sailing Co. have been cruising around on their 'Supercat' for the past week. You know it's a supercat because it has 'Supercat' written on the side in metre high letters. It ain't subtle, but there again neither are a pair of panda fur speedos. This waterborne penis extension can be yours for a mere 45,000 baht/day - max. 8 guests, including accommodation, food, drinks and a variety of nibbles. Bling optional.

The Ultimate Web solution . . .need a new back end? Want to stand out on the online crowd? Or simply need to know how to pronounce 'MySQL' correctly? If this is all geek speak to you, contact Alexis at www.kcdarsana.com, for your web related requirements or call in to their corporate HQ on the road to Klong Plu waterfall.

The Ultimate Act of Caring . . . Thai TV showed photos of government ministers visiting those injured in the NYE bomb blasts, those lucky folks all received polythene wrapped gift baskets (Potato chips, energy drinks, shampoo, tins of condensed milk and more!) from the ministers, whilst families of those who died were given a whopping 10,000 baht. This is more than enough to compensate the family for the earnings the deceased would have accumulated during their working life. It is based on a complex calculation which factors in the deceased emigrating to North Korea on 1 January 2007 to take up a job in an asbestos mine at Work Camp 4, on the outskirts of the Pyongyang nuclear test site, and then taking an evening job as a nerve agent test guinea pig at 17 Won per hour.

The Ultimate Job on Koh Chang (not really but it pays for your beer) . . . An English teacher, preferably a native English speaker with some experience, is required for a private student working for a property developer on Koh Chang. 2 hours x 2-3 classes per week in the evenings. Hourly rate to be confirmed. If you're interested email Carsten at Anchana Language School, Whitesands < kco@medos.net >

The Ultimate Cover Up . . . According to hotel staff, a young child on holiday with his parents from Europe, drowned in the pool of a 4-star resort last week. Hotel staff were instructed by the GM not to tell anyone, except people they meet in the market and like to gossip with.

The Ultimate Minibus Ride . . . Sonja & partner are looking for anyone wanting to share a private transfer from Koh Chang - Siem Reap on 25 February. If you're going that way and want to share the expense let me know.

The Ultimate Afternoon Stroll . . .there's a nice little walk across Koh Wai which is worth a look if you're visiting the island on a boat trip, have more than 30 minutes to spare and want to get away from the snorkelling masses. A few photos and more info here.

The Ultimate New Trend . . .Herbal Saunas. The original Herbal Sauna is in Bailan and, as with all successful small businesses, it has been copied. Now there are at half a dozen Herbal Saunas dotted along the west coast. The original is a unique hand made, purpose built adobe style sauna. Nearby, on Lonely Beach, this copycat uses a converted septic tank or possibly a reconditioned grain silo, as a sauna.

The Ultimate Confidence Boost . . .The khaki clad Defence Minister of the ruling military junta in Thailand was reported on the BBC News website as saying that it was "highly likely" the NYE bomb attacks in Bangkok were carried out by "men in uniform" by which he didn't mean subversive supermarket shelf-stackers and grudge bearing valet parking staff. Sleep safely Bangkok.

The Ultimate Method to Beat the Thai Drink Driving Test . . .I had to drive to the ferry pier to pick up some of our guests a few days ago, the police had a checkpoint set up looking for people who still might be over-enjoying extended New Year celebrations. The boys in brown were stopping all the cars and questioning the drivers. In the absence of any breathalyser equipment, a cunning line of questioning was used in order to weed out any drivers who had been imbibing prior to getting behind the wheel:

Police: Hello. Have you been drinking alcohol?
Me: (Making a point to look at the clock in the car.) It's 10.30am, I had a small Beer Chang last night, does that count?
Police: OK, you can go.

2 Jan - Koh Chang Update

2 Jan - The show home at Siam Royal View housing development is 90% complete and it's . . . . orange. The workmanship is good; the design is pretty nice, especially the high ceiling in the living/dining area at the front of the house which gives the room a very bright & airy feel, but why is the exterior tangerine?

With jovial backslapping and seemingly endless "See you next year!" quips out of the way it's time to get back off the holiday spirit and into the humdrum world of life on a Thai island again.

It looks like a very well known, well established bungalow resort owned by a local family will be available for lease soon. This place is in all the guide books and is in a prime west coast location. The family need to take a break from running it and spend time raising their kids, so are looking to lease it. Annual rent will be around 1 million baht. The contract will be for 12 years. Photos and more detailed info coming in the next couple of weeks.

** Important to note that as this resort will be leased from the owners themselves and not from a third party - e.g. an expat who's previously leased it, as is the case for most of the small resorts that are available on Koh Chang. So there's nothing else to pay - only the annual rent. A common theme running through resorts to sublease from western lessees is the fact they all ask for several million baht to "sell" the property that they don't actually own. They ploughed their savings into it, after 1 or 2 years it didn't work out and they didn't get rich quick and so now it's time to sell it on and cover their losses. Avoid these types of places unless you have successfully run resorts before.

Dec 31st was the busiest I've ever see in it out at the snorkelling islands around Koh Rang. Speedboats were queuing to find a mooring space and there were a couple of huge ships who deposited hundreds of non swimming Thais into the water. People watching was half the fun, I wish I had a photo of the woman swimming with mask, snorkel and wide brimmed sun hat.

Deaths - Peter Williams, long term English resident of Kai Bae passed away on New Year's Eve. Funeral was on 1 Jan. Described as a typical English gentleman who enjoyed his cricket and also a beer, he'll be missed by those fortunate enough to have shared his acquaintance over the years.

Also a couple more tourists killed riding motorbikes and apparently a policeman deliberately mowed down by a car just over a week ago.

Elsewhere in Thailand 3 people died as bombs went off in Bangkok last night and NYE celebrations were cancelled. Western embassies put out the obligatory advisory message against non-essential travel to Bangkok. In light of the 180 people who died in road accidents in Thailand over the past 3 days . . . have any western embassies issued warnings against non-essential road travel in Thailand? I think not. Unless you're Iraqi the odds of getting caught up in a bomb blast or terrorist incident in Thailand are much lower than in your own country. Not a cause for panicky holiday cancellations but be sure to report any unattended hand grenades to the relevant authorities.

Announcements . . . The Treehouse, Koh Chang's backpacker's mecca has a new website www.tree-house.org. It's a hippy-trippy Flash driven site which features the font used on the 'Spangles' packets from the 70s. Kai, the webmaster, would also like me to tell you about the great New Year's Eve party that they will be having . . . but actually took place a couple of days ago as I didn't update the site in time. Consider this plenty of advance notice for NYE 2007 when I'm sure they will also be having a party. If you've got an event of any kind you'd like plugging for free here or on the Koh Chang page of 'Untamed Travel' magazine - let me know.

Is Koh Chang attracting a different kind of visitor this year? A couple of people mentioned that to me over the festive period. I cant say that I've noticed the change myself as far as the guests staying at our place go but from the emails I receive I think the island is starting to get a higher percentage of package tourists with expectations of a livelier, more upmarket, Samui-esque island. Which is a pity for those of us who enjoy peace and quiet. What I have noticed is that our little area of the riverbank is changing, it looks like a couple of fisherman's houses will become restaurants on the opposite bank and nearby some locals have sold up and builders from a large resort are beavering away on something or other. Interesting to see that the roof is actually been painted in camouflage colours so it blends into the mangroves when viewed from, say, Google Earth or a passing helicopter.

22 Dec - Koh Chang Update

22 Dec -

It's that time of year when our thoughts turn to one man. A man who's actions benefited mankind and who, from humble beginnings, rose to lead a legion of followers whom eagerly waited his every move and his every word. I am of course talking about Bono. Professional Irishman, all round musical genius and I-pod salesman. Bono has an I-pod, he even has a nice brushed aluminium limited edition line with his own name on them. I don't. He also goes out of his way to help charities, even those that go to the aid of unpopular causes where the victims aren't particularly photogenic. And, errr, I don't.

So in a a bid to put me in Bono's good books, it's time for the IamKohChang.com 'Dig deep and give' Christmas charity appeal with all proceeds going to charity, in case that wasn't blindingly obvious by the time you reached the end of this sentence.

Deciding how to raise cash wasn't easy, collecting half a ton of bottletops that can be smelted down and sold to Mick the metal merchant wasn't an option, neither was a 'Bring & Buy' sale, so I opted for the online version of the begging bowl - Paypal.

Having done that narrowing down the nominees for Charity of the Year wasn't easy. Nominations ranged from 'The Association of Koh Chang East Coast Hoteliers' a barely known minority group frequently shunned by foreign visitors to Koh Chang and in need of all the financial assistance they can receive, to the 'A bargirl isn't just for Christmas Appeal'. Set up to ensure that long after their Xmas flings are over, Koh Chang's bargirls will receive a new Nokia phone and gold bracelet to lessen the emotional pain of separation. As their spokeswoman said when contacted for a comment for this site "Some man no good, promise money but not send, buffalo sick, mama papa need new house, no have phone, sister baby in hospital, many problem in my life, but no complain. I alone in a big world. You have good heart, you like Thai girl?"

Persuasive as both of the above are they didn't make the cut for the final two options. Those of you who enjoy reading this site and are sitting at home with Christmas bonuses burning a hole in your pocket read on. Have your kids really done enough good this year to justify the expense of a new Nintendo Wii? I doubt it. Does your spouse deserve that slap up festive meal or could they do with skipping the dessert and donating the saved cash to a worthy cause? (OK probably not, I'd go for the Toffee Banoffee pie over a pock marked Darfurian child too - but you get my drift.)

Here are two Paypal buttons. They accept credit card and Paypal donations. On the left is the 60GB Ipod that I'll squander any money you give to me on. On the right is a cute kitten. He's alive and well and lives at our house. If he gets sick the only guys who can treat him are Lisa and Carla from Koh Chang Animal Foundation. The Foundation exists entirely on donations and there are a growing band of pet owners on KC who are very thankful for the efforts of Lisa who set up the foundation and who has ploughed over US$90,000 of her own money into keeping it going for the past few years.

For more info on I-pods see: http://www.apple.com/ipod/ipod.html & For more info on Koh Chang Animal Foundation see: www.kohchanganimalfoundation.org. Having weighed up the pros and cons of each option . . . it's time to whip out the plastic.

Choice 1: Buy me an Ipod or some other impulse buy gadget that I'll only use when I'm in an airport Departure Lounge. For no reason other than I'm probably the only person on the planet without one and even though I'll probably lose it or break it in 6 months it'd be nice to have. Ahh, the joy of giving . . not nearly as good as the joy of receiving.	Choice 2: Save cute kitten's (or puppy's) life, make the world a better place and book your spot in heaven . . . or your money back! Give a few pounds, dollars or euros to the Koh Chang Animal Foundation and I personally guarantee you'll have a warm, fuzzy feeling throughout the holiday season. Plus there's a free beer from me for anyone who donates something to this worthy cause.

Weather - There's been a strong cold NE wind blowing for the past few days which means all snorkelling trips and speedboats trips have been cancelled. The forecast for the next 2-3 days at least is more of the same. If you see white capped waves when you cross over to Koh Chang on the ferry, you wont be going diving or out on a boat for a couple of days at least.

Coming soon . . . is Koh Chang ready for ultra modern, million dollar villas? One German developer thinks so and has 19 of them planned on Koh Chang's newest luxury development 'The Edge Village' near Bangbao. More info and photos coming in the New Year.

Anyone following the financial markets will have seen Thailand stock market soar over 10% in a single day. (Ok, so this was after it plummeted over 15% the previous day.) The reasons are the military government's cunning new plans to stop evil foreigners bringing cash into Thailand and tricking banks into selling them their entire stash of baht at dirt cheap rates. But this ruling has a big effect on anyone wanting to transfer money into Thailand to buy a condo freehold . . . as those buying freehold condos, will see the Bank of Thailand retain 30% of foreign funds remitted, interest-free for one year. (So you need to transfer 130% of the purchase price.) BUT, under the new rules, foreigners who want to buy a leasehold property in Thailand will have no problem doing so if they can bring in Thai baht for the purpose.

Visas . . . if you're living on KC and doing the 30-day visa runs and expecting to get 3 consecutive visas and then head off and get a 2 month tourist visa from a neighbouring country in order to stay longer, bear in mind that some people who have just got their third 30 day visa have also had a note written in their passport saying that once it expires they cant re-enter Thailand for 90 days - at all. If this happens your options are to try to get a new visa in Malaysia, if they decide not to give it, bearing in mind the written note in your passport, then getting a new passport before coming back into Thailand is your only 'Plan B' option.

Merry Xmas etc

17 Dec - Koh Chang Update

17 Dec - The only pool on Koh Mak is now in use, but only for guests staying at Koh Mak Villa or Goodtime Resort.

No update for a while as I've been busy writing all the things I miss about Xmas on the back of a postage stamp using a marker pen. That's not actually true . . .I've been busy trying to think of anything I miss about Christmas which I would write on the back of a postage stamp, if I had a stamp or could think of anything to write.

In keeping with the spirit of Christmas, and in the name of nostalgia not laziness, I've dug into the archives and rehashed something from Christmas past. This is something I wrote about Xmas for 'The Nation' newspaper a few years ago, it might raise a smile as you sit in your office cubicle on a dull rainy day wishing you were somewhere else. It was that or add a falling javascript snowflake effect to this page, but I couldn't bring myself to go that far, and I've a feeling Jesus wouldn't have wanted me to do that either.

Last weekend was a holiday weekend in Thailand, like most people I expected the island to be packed with cars as Bangkokians, with their end of year bonuses already in their pockets, took a 2-3 day break. However, the only places that saw any increase in customers were the well established beachfront places such as Klong Prao Resort & Koh Chang Resort plus the 7-eleven minimarts. Although it isn't politically correct to say so, most small business owners on Koh Chang are now relying on a tsunami, earthquake, meteor or wayward North Korean nuke to strike Samui, Phuket or preferably both as the only way of ensuring a profit this high season.

Three contractors are bidding to build the road around Koh Chang . One from Bangkok, another Trat and one from Koh Chang. They go to meet the local officials in charge of handling tenders for the contract. The contractor from Bangkok takes out box load of documents, plans and engineering reports. "Well," he says. "We've calculated that this job will cost 270 million baht. 200 million for materials, 40 million for labour and logisitics and 30 million profit." The contractor from Trat whips out a looseleaf binder and calculator and also comes up with a similar figure as the guy from Bangkok. The contractor from Koh Chang walks in empty handed, but leans over to the local official and whispers: "370 million." The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't even inspect the site like the other guys! How did you come up with such a figure?" "Easy," the builder explains, "50 million for you, 50 million for me and we hire the guy from Bangkok to do the work." Not based on a true story at all.

Muay Thai boxing at Bangbao Stadium tonight. 350 baht ticket say the English language flyers, which is more than a ticket for a professional fight at one of the Bangkok stadiums - which actually are stadiums in the sense that they are structures with seating, costs.

Festive thanks to Marshall for the wine, Tapio for the wierd Finnish liqueur, Mary for the single malt and Andrei for the cognac from Dagestan which I'm reliably informed is almost as good as the brandy from Kazakstan. All I need now is a cocktail recipe that includes them all.

Phuket's tourist numbers are up 85% since last year, which rather puts the 10% increase in visitor numbers to Koh Chang, that the bloke in charge of tourism last week used the adjective "skyrocketing" to describe, in perspective.

If you're in a bar and a well dressed Thai guy comes in, orders a martini shaken not stirred, and then proceeds to aim a few well rehearsed chat-up lines as sultry damsels he's probably an undercover cop. How do I know? Because today's Bangkok Post has a story that you couldn't make up. Entitled 'Undercover Officers told to look less obvious', the story regards undercover officers who have been told to make themselves less obvious to criminals

Pol Col Thitiratch deputy commander of the Crime Suppression Division said the policemen should blend in, not stand out. "Sometimes, it's a neatly-pressed shirt and trousers they want. Or they could don a suit if need be. Wear whatever is necessary to get to the criminals. But they should avoid wearing clothes that tell people they are police. Look at James Bond. He's a classic example of someone who can be as smartly-dressed and a capable secret agent," he said (really).

7 Dec

7 Dec - Eight black foods, complete with black candles, served to the spirits at 10pm on three consecutive Wednesdays . . . and even that couldn't prevent both our boat and our pick-up from breaking down this past week.

Supposedly high season has begun but Koh Chang is still pretty dead. Hotels are all full from Xmas to the first week of January. But it'll be interesting to see if the busy period ends by mid-February as it did this year. If so, most shopkeepers only have a couple of months to make the majority of their income for the year. Not a surprise really but another example of the 80:20 rule in action. Bullish news though from a man with a very lengthy title 'Chairman of the Koh Chang Subdistrict Administration Organization'. Apparently there are 3-5 applications per month for building new hotels on Koh Chang and demand is "skyrocketing" with tourist arrivals up 10% year on year. (Look there are some figures floating past, I'll pluck them out of the air and use them as statistics.) Dull News story here.

Tracy with the dog - your email address isn't correct.

Got a copy of the Sunday Times brought over for me by a visitor to KC last week. The magazine cover asked readers what they'd do with 50 pence, buy a bar of chocolate or save the sight of a child. That hit home and certainly made me think. I didn't realise the price of a bar of chocolate had risen so much back in the UK.

Koh Chang's got the tail-end of Typhoon Durian at the moment, choppy seas and quite a bit of rain last night. Back to normal sunshine today though.

Been back to 'Crust', the new bakery in Klong Prao, several times this week simply because it's hands down the best place for bread on the island. Mam got a 5 baht discount there earlier this week, so hopefully it'll be up to 10 baht as a result of this mention. Who says opinions cant be bought on this site? More seriously, anyone thinking of opening a business on KC should take note of what this place does - it satisfies an unfilled need for a good product at a good price. Simple. There are too many small businesses thinking only about profit and neglecting quality, coming up with ideas that there obviously isn't a demand for or simply copying everyone else - what Koh Chang really needs is yet another western owned beer bar. The American diner in VJ Plaza is a good product (Real burgers, creamy shakes etc) - but has only very limited appeal to visitors to Koh Chang, it'd go down well in Pattaya or Phuket though. The island's only Irish pub fills the need but falls flat as soon as you walk in the door. All the atmosphere of a barn and none of the charm any good pub possesses. It the future it may well do well . . . providing none of the hotel owners with land on the main stretch of Whitesands decide to build their own Irish pub; and they get some staff who can take down an order correctly. I've met several owners of east coast resorts all of whom have built small resorts which offer a good standard of room for a good price. You can get a lovely AC bungalow with TV, fridge, breakfast for well under 1,000 baht. But there's no demand at all from western visitors, there's no need to be met. I get asked how they can get more customers and the best I can come up with is give a way a free beer in the restaurant with every room or when that fails, a free room with every beer. Or failing that, sell the resort to a sucker as a long term investment.

The Elephant motif I understand. But the cock ???? A few photos of three of the most popular resorts on Koh Chang, all located at the north end of Klong Prao beach - Paradise Resort, Koh Chang Resort, Klong Prao Resort. Photo gallery added as a public service so that visitors to two of the resorts can snigger at the poor souls who booked into the other - the one with a big cock on a pedestal.

Hotel owners who read this site, something for you . . . I'm already getting emails from your guests complaining about the differences between what they actually want and and what you think they want. The majority of these emails relate to music and the reason why hotels think it necessary to have evening meals accompanied by pretty bad live music or schmaltzy CDs. This type of 'entertainment' may well be classier than an scale model of an Italian farmer's cottage built entirely from international cheeses but it doesn't mean that it's a good or sensible idea.

One hotel in Kai Bae has a wandering Filipino minstrel strolling along the beach serenading/annoying diners. Why would this be attractive to guests? Others stick a 'Best of Lionel Ritchie' CD on and subject diners to this night after night after night. Live bands, or more commonly two or three guys and a Casio organ, are also apparently a winner. But when either half the diners can't hear themselves think due to the thud from the base & drums or the restaurant empties every time the band comes on, surely it's time to rethink evening entertainment when this happens.

The majority of guests don't even want live music when they're having a quiet dinner. Sure a little music is nice if peace and quiet isn't a viable option, but how about some Thai music - not the 'Saw-U' Thai violin that makes a sound not dissimilar to that of a of a rusty cat being gang raped, but a nice bit of 'ranad' - wooden xylophone - which can be quite mellow. Volume can even be set low, so that it isn't intrusive. Now, there's a novelty. Your guests aren't travelling half way around the world to hear 'My Heart will Go On' beaten into submission by a bargain basement cover band.

Christmas is on the way and what could be more festive that Christmas lights. Oxford Street has them, Bangkok's shopping malls have them, so why shouldn't Koh Chang have them? (Money and no one being bothered to put them up aside.) Kids will be delighted to see an Xmas tree in the hotel lobby, but as doting parents you'd probably like to take your little 'uns off to see the best & brightest lights on Koh Chang. The place to visit is Koh Chang Entertainment Plaza, a collection of near empty beer bars in Chai Chet, just north of Klong Prao beach. Stop by the roadside after dark and feast your eyes on the garish combinations of primary coloured neon and fairylights. Your kids will love it. But be prepared for the possibility of a few awkward questions if they're over 4 years old:

"Mum, who's the fat old guy with the red face sitting on the chair."
" Err, that's . . . errrrm Santa. He's come to Koh Chang for a holiday."
"Wow. Can I say hello to Santa, Mum?"
"Not now he's busy. See."
"It's not fair, that lady has been sitting on his lap for a long time. I want a go."
"Not tonight. There's a long queue of other ladies waiting their turn, I think she's one of Santa's special helpers."
"She looks very happy. Do you think Santa promised to give her something special this year?"
"Yes dear, I'm sure she'll be getting her stockings filled tonight. Now back in the car."

30 Nov

30 Nov - Who needs Whitesands when you've got Klong Kloi Beach near Bangbao?

Two days ago martial law was lifted from the majority of provinces in Thailand, leaving the populace free once again to lead their lives without fear of waking up one night to the sound of a tank being parked in their back yard and having their house stormed by soldiers intent on confiscating every last Thai Rak Thai souvenir 'Election 2005' t-shirt in the land. But, here on Koh Chang martial law is still in place as several areas of Trat province, including Koh Chang & Koh Kood, are apparently considered potential hotbeds of political unrest and subversive activity. Do your bit to help. Next time you see illegal gatherings of half a dozen beach vendors chatting away by their motorbikes or a group of massage women huddled together under a palm tree, feel free to approach them, brand them insurgents and reprimand them for not doing their bit to bring peace and harmony to the nation.

'Crust' has recently opened down in Klong Prao - opposite the temple and is making real bread i.e. bread with texture & taste, which is a bit of a novelty for Koh Chang. I tested a wholegrain loaf on customers at breakfast and they loved it. Well worth a stop if you fancy making sandwiches yourself for a picnic lunch. Open 7am-10am & 4pm-7pm. The chocolate croissants are good, the ones with marmalade on top must be an acquired taste though.

It's not only the locals who drive way too fast on the island's narrow roads, last week an expat woman living & working on Koh Chang was knocked off her motorbike and killed by a hit & run driver. The driver was a European instructor working for a dive school in Bangbao.

Quite a few people who email me looking for houses on Koh Chang have a budget of around 4 million baht or so. On KC this would get you a three storey shophouse by the main road with no garden, no sea views, and not within easy walking distance to the beach. On Koh Mak this would get you a teak wood villa on 800sqm of land with sea views, and 5 minutes walk to the beach. If that isn't a big enough garden area, buy a house on 1600sqm of land for another million baht. More info here

If you're looking for a hotel room from mid December until the first week of January, you're going to have big problems. Forget about New Year - everything that's worthwhile booking on, near or in the vicinity of a decent beach has been booked.

It's Christmas soon, I know this because I had to spend a couple of days in Bangkok and met up with a friend in Starbucks. It took me a while to figure out why the place was bedecked in red and green and the staff were wearing red hats. I just wanted a mug of the 'Coffee of the Day but couldn't bear the embarrassment of being the only person in there not to be drinking a designer concoction - so a Gingerbread Latte with whipped cream it was. And with that I sat back and joined the ranks of those sniggering at anyone standing there befuddled by the choice of drinks that vaguely resemble coffee.

23 Nov

23 Nov - Phase 1 of the new Tranquility Bay development is now on sale. If owning a fully furnished, luxury low rise condo or beach villa with superb sea views and easy access to the islands south of Koh Chang sounds like an enticing prospect . . .that's because it is. Leave Phuket, Samui & Pattaya to the masses and consider Koh Chang for a second home in paradise a.k.a. Thailand. Click for Photos, plans, information and gentle persuasion as to why you should buy a place here.

Tip for anyone thinking of getting married on Koh Chang, bring your own music. Whilst the couple who had their ceremony on Klong Prao beach recently may have been lost in the moment, onlookers were forced to put up with dirge such as 'The Power of Love' , 'Take my Breath Away' and other 80s synth & drum machine driven romantic ballads. These give anyone within earshot - (or was it only me?) - flashbacks to a night of embarrassing fumbling and fondling at the 6th Form disco. So, have some consideration for other beach users and bring your own CD of decent tunes, preferably those which illicit fond memories in the mind of listeners and not flashbacks of teenage angst.

The weather has been great, the sea is calm, avoid the weekends and the tour boats aren't busy. (Avoid the tour boats and you'll have islands to yourself.) The Marine Department had their big boat from Bangkok out the other day surveying boat captains to see how many people were on the boat, how often they took people out, how many people visited the snorkelling islands per day etc.

What are they watching? A) Tom & Katie sunning themselves whilst honeymooning on Koh Chang? B) A troop of sea gypsies who play impromptu jazz concerts for passing boats in return for loose change? C) A showing of the James Bond film 'Moonraker', that's being projected onto a cliff face as part of the Koh Chang International Film Festival D) Something else.

It isn't A), as eagle eyed readers will have spotted Tom & Katie are in disguise and on the boat. You think that's a grey haired woman who really should know better than to wear a bikini at her age. Think again. B) As this photo was taken on a Thursday - the traditional day of rest for sea gypsies of Burmese descent - this cant be the correct answer. C) A trick question, as, having won the Best Foreign Film category for the past 26 years, 'Moonraker' wasn't entered into this year's celebration of celulloid due to fears of possible explosion of immorality on KC caused by exposing Thai youths to the wily western charms of 'Dr Holly Goodhead', which only leaves D). See the new 'Day on the Boat' Photo Gallery for the answer.

Down in Bangbao there's a very nice fisherman's house for sale in excellent condition and for a very sensible price. See the photo to the right. If you've ever fancied a dive school or simply a house where you can walk out of your living room and into your boat then this is it. The asking price includes all furniture, fixtures & fittings including AC unit, satellite TV, phone line etc

Paulo and his girlfriend are looking for anyone who's interested in sharing a private hire minivan from Siem Reap to Koh Chang on 5th January. If you'd like to share the cost, please email Paulo direct as soon as possible at: < Paolino.Tona@ifp.fr >

Finally, a nice story from a family who took a tour organised by their hotel to see how local people live. They were packed off in a minibus with a young Thai woman who they assumed must be a fellow guest at the hotel as she never said a word to them. It was only half way through the day that it clicked that she must be the guide. So with that misunderstanding out of the way the family went off to see how local people fish. This entailed spending 3 hours on a small boat bobbing around in Klong Son bay. Needless to say the novelty wore off and so they asked the guide "Do your customers ever get bored doing this?" The reply was "I don't know, this is my first time here." The moral of this story is not to automatically expect your guide to have any knowledge about where you are going other than what they have been told by their boss. Also don't assume just because you're paying a small fortune for a room that the guide provided by the hotel isn't a tourism student from Bangkok here for their work experience.

14 Nov

14 Nov - Here's something for anyone planning on staying at the Ramayana Resort. This photo shows the 4 star (?) resort's private beach, (apparently) and was taken from an online hotel booking site. Unfortunately, since last week, the private beach has been relocated to a corner of KP Huts, where it can be found sandwiched between 300 baht/night bungalows and a large drainage canal. If you're not one of Ramayana's guests then it's pretty funny to walk along the beach and see the package tourists putting a brave face on things as the KP Huts German Shepherds run round pissing on the sunloungers. If you are a guest, 'mai pen rai' as the locals say.

Apology: A few hours after updating this page I was emailed by the owner of Ramayana who would like me to point out that the move of the private beach to KP Huts is only for the next 4 months and not permanent. Another inaccuracy included describing the resort as 4 star, this isn't the case, they have never claimed to be a 4 star property. I also admit, there was some artistic license used. For example instead of 'drainage canal' I should have said 'landscaped water feature' and when it came to describing the possibility of German Shepherds relieving themselves on the sunloungers, I shouldn't have mentioned this as it may put people off using the private beach and the odds are it won't happen whilst guests are tanning themselves anyway. ( But I'd still give your chair a sniff before lying down just to be on the safe side.)

Who needs a room or two for Christmas? Due to a family tragedy - I've seen the newspaper reports and it's the kind of thing that only ever happens to Spinal Tap's drummers - our guests for Xmas have had to cancel their booking. So we have rooms free from 19 - 27 December. If you're still looking for a place to stay, contact me.

The Sunday Times ran an excellent article about Koh Chang this week. It's required reading for anyone thinking of staying at Tropicana where the writer stayed: "The Tropicana is still at that stage in its development when dinner has to be accompanied by “sophisticated” music, which means either traditional Thai percussion — a bit like being trapped in a lift with a drunk xylophone player — or a Filipino with his Yamaha set to “hotel schmaltz”. And is it fair to say that Bangbao has all the charm of Grimsby? Probably, not but there again who in Grimsby really cares?

I've always fancied having some long stay bungalows, that can be rented monthly. There are some on Koh Chang but many are just located in resorts or are basically pretty slummy and squashed into an area just off the main road with no view of any kind. When I worked in Bangkok I always liked to stay somewhere with a good view, up in a high floor condo, with views over the city but within easy reach of the work, pubs etc. So on KC I wanted a similar thing. Finding a small plot of land in a west coast location and with excellent sea views on KC isn't easy, finding some that's affordable is even harder. It's taken us over a year. But hopefully, within the next week or so, the search will be over . . . .

Not only has the Monkey School on Whitesands gone, (the monkeys have all graduated) the postbox shaped like a spaceship has now been removed from the view point above Sea View hotel and replaced with a 'normal' postbox. Pity, it could have become a landmark. In case you missed it, here it is photographed in all it's Flash Gordon-esque glory a month ago. I'd like to take this chance appeal to business people and local officials with really bad ideas for tourist attractions or landmarks to build some as I'm running out of things to make fun of.